DR. SCOTT:

From the day he was born

He was trouble

He was the thorn

In his mother's side

She tried in vain

CRIMINOLOGIST:

But he never caused her nothing but shame

DR. SCOTT:

He left home the day she died!

From the day she was gone

All he wanted

Was rock & roll porn

And a motor bike

Shooting up junk

He was a lowdown cheap little punk

Taking everone for a ride

CHORUS:

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy

You knew he was a no good kid

But when he threatened your life

With a switch blade knife

FRANK:

What a guy!

JANET:

Makes you cry!

DR. SCOTT:

Und I did!

COLUMBIA:

Everybody shoved him

I very nearly loved him

I said "Hey listen to this"

Stay sane inside insanity

But he locked the door and threw away the key!

CHORUS:

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy

You knew he was a no good kid

But when he threatened your life

With a switch blade knife

DR. SCOTT:

But he must have been drawn

Into something

Making him warn

Me in a note which reads

CHORUS:

What's it say?

What's it say?

EDDIE:

I'm out of my head!

Oh, hurry or I may be dead!

They musn't carry out their evil deeds!

(SCREAM)

FRANK:

What a guy!

JANET:

Makes you cry!

DR. SCOTT:

Und I did!

CHORUS:

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy

You knew he was a no good kid

But when he threatened your life

With a switch blade knife

FRANK:

What a guy!(whoa, whoa, whoa)

JANET:

Makes you cry! (hey, hey, hey)

DR. SCOTT:

Und I did! (I did!)