I was walkin′ through the city streets

And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink

Run faster, jump higherMan, I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground

You must think I′m a joke

I ain't gonna be part of the system, man!

Pump that garbage in another man's face

I go to my favorite hot dog stand

And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here′s one for free"

I said, "Man, what I look like? A charity case?"

I took it, and threw it on the ground!

I don′t need your handouts

I'm an adult

Please

You can′t buy me, hot dog man!

At the farmer's market with my so-called girlfriend

She hands me her cell phone, says it′s my dad

Man, this ain't my dad

This is a cell phone

I threw it on the ground!

What, you think I′m stupid?

I'm not a part of the system

My dad's not a phone

Duh!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party

Whatchu want me to do with this? Eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground!

I threw the rest of the cake, too

Welcome to the real world, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground

Like this, and this, and that, and even this

I′m an adult!

Two Hollywood phonies tried to give me their autograph

Ground!

Nobody wants your autograph, phonies

Then the two phonies got up

Turned out they had a taser

And they tased me in the butthole

I fell to the ground

The phonies didn′t let up

Tasin' on my butthole over and over

I was screamin′ and squirmin'

My butthole was on fire

The moral of the story is

You can′t trust the system

Man