Ay

Man

ManAy

I guess ya′ll on board

Young man couldn't leave that shore

Had the life they made for him

′Til he seeked out more

Boat ride, couldn't see that storm

Held it up though

He know he close

It's too late to jump ship

Ay

Aw damn, Aw damn

You that motherfucker, shit

I know

This shit became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And U2 must be rockin′ with Lil Dicky, Bono

It′s like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn't see it for a minute

Shit was hittin′ wall though

They treat it like I'm goin′ crazy

I'm just playin′, I don't

It's just I know

It′s just I know

I saw the world like hold up

Damn near fakin′ on the side

Let me take you on a ride

Let me tell you 'bout the one who couldn′t take the 9 to 5

Used to take the 925 down to Richmond

Bumpin' Jigga up in the ride

Used to think along and drive

′Bout my drive

Used to wonder why

Used to wonder when the world'll see like I′m seein' mine

Used to whine

Used to wanna shine

Used to wanna dine

Used to talk to bitches in my mind when they walkin' by

"Girl what′s happenin′, Girl what's happenin′"

I ain't really ′bout to get involved that's what′s happenin'

Errything I knew was unevolved like a baptist

Layin' on my mattress

Prayin′ I could have this, and

Now when I get Tinder matches

They think they been Catfished

Now I be controlling how we livin′ like a fascist

Now I got this weight up off my shoulders like a strapless

Remember this shit was hapless

Remember the day it happened

Aw you the shit Dave, you be killin' everything you did

Got the whole world talkin′ all about what you did

Got yo old girl talkin' all ′bout what you is

Got yo old world lookin like it's his you ain′t here

I been fuckin' for the fuck of it

And one of them bitches I been fuckin' with

Been wondering how I can work this much and stomach it

She wonders what I want from it

I said we don′t gotta get into it

She like Nah just do it

She a psychology student

She always followin′ up

Find the guy to be amusing as fuck

Usually I'll answer her truthfully

But truthfully, I′m unusually used to being unusually good at internalizing when music is not provided

But I humor ho

Ask her if she ever saw the Truman Show

She like yeah

I like well, when I saw that shit I was convinced I was livin' like Jim

A similar situation where I was the basis of everyone′s entertainment

Like really up in the basement talkin' to y′all

In the mirror because I thought that Lil David was some American hero

I know it's selfish and all

But I just felt it's my call

I was a ten year old then

By 2010 I was wrong

I′m like "aw damn, aw damn, you the motherfucker though"

I know

This shit became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And U2 must be rockin′ with Lil Dicky, Bono

It's like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn′t see it for a minute

Shit was hittin' wall though

They treat it like I′m goin' crazy

I′m just playin', I don't

It′s just I know

It′s just I know

Twenty three bars up in my apartment

I am debarred

Gotta do this shit

I gotta recharge

But I gotta be smart

Movin' up that ladder company

Star, fuck it, that ain′t nothin'

I am the star

Spittin′ like a retard

Work was like a prison

I'm just seein′ bars

My boss was all up in my camp

And I'm just seein' Lars

I been a heavyweight, Muhammad Ali

And if he can mold that out of "Clay"

Then I can turn the Lil D

So now I′m snappin′ like I'm Truman

But off and on

There′s always somethin' in the way

I should be often gone

Girl I′m sorry if this draggin'

I just need you to imagine

Bein′ stuck up on the land without a captain

When everyday is average

And everyday you feelin' like a captive

And feel like somethin' seriously lackin′

And then you fear what could happen if you just leave it on the table like napkins

But, yo, you really fearin′ hitting them rappin's and leaving everything behind

′Cause you don't know what that horizon brings

But girl you gotta know what kind of fish you is

Survival instinct kicked in

Sink or swim

I flipped a playlist

Quit my day gig

Now, I′m on a boat, Lonely Island

Irony, yeah you still been tryin' to figure how I work this tirelessly

But girl

This is everything I′ve thought

This for everything I've fought

This for who I am to me becomes to y'all

(Go)

They tellin′ me "nah"

But I just be tellin′ them "yeah" (Go)

I just be tellin' them "yeah" (Go)

I just be tellin′ them "yeah"

Tell 'em I′m gone (Yeah)

I just pretend I ain't scared (Go)

Don′t even know I was there (Go)

Don't even know if I care

'Cause girl this is Truman approachin′ the wall

Until I′m me I am nothin' at all

Until I′m free I will not see beyond

I had to be who I was all along

Ay I think I mighta broke it down

Hoppin' on the fuckin′ steps like ain't no around

Open up that door, you bet, ship ain′t goin' down

Guess the only thing that's left is to take a bow

Aw, damn! Aw, damn!

You that motherfucker shit

I know

This ship became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And U2 must be rockin′ with Lil Dicky, Bono

It′s like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn't see it for a minute

Shit was hidden, Waldo

They treat it like I′m goin' crazy

I′m just prayin', I don′t

It's just I know

It's just I know

(Just I know) Fuck! (Just I know)

That felt good

Well, that′s all I got

The show is over, as they say

Honestly, uh I just think that part in the Truman Show where his boat hits the wall

Is really the exact moment that I′m at in my own life right now

Uh, metaphorically, of course

And I'm ready for - I think I′m read for it

Like I've been thinkin′ about it, I think I'm ready

I mean, if I′m being completely transparent with y'all

Uh, like my lifestyle hasn't really changed that much

Uh, you know, considering, uh, where I think I′m at musically

Like I′m still at the point right now where pretty much any bitch that tweets at me anything remotely flirtatious

I have seen not just one of your pictures, I have seen the entire catalog

That's the type of shit that′s goin' down over here right now, so...

I am definitely ready for that, uh, next step, y′know what I'm sayin′?

I think it's close, too

I think it's close

Like, uh, Diddy tweeted about me

Uh, you know, I don′t know if he handles his own Twitter

I would assume he probably doesn′t, actually

But, like, I'm so confident that I feel as though, like, me and Diddy will have a moment just about this outro

Like when we′re both sittin' next to each other smokin′ cigars

And bein' like, "Ay, remember when you said that shit on that outro?"

Like, and I′m like, "Yeah. That's, this is the exact moment I - I did that for, y'know what I′m sayin′?"

Bring the - bring the beat back up. I don't know why

Like, keep, loop everything. I wanna be talkin′ for minutes, yeah, uh, y'know what I′m sayin'?

Like, uh, shout out my Macbook Pro

Had that shit since ′09

I made my first song ever on it

Like, when I called myself Lil Dicky

I made my, like, fuckin' album songs on that shit

And we survived, baby

Uh, shoutout Allen Iverson, Larry David, Will Smith, and Kobe Bryant

For makin' me the man that I am today

Both on and off the court

Shout out my mother

What a great woman

She′s so mad that I recorded these conversations

She - she honestly went crazy

It took so much convincing to allow this

But, she′s awesome

She's adapting to the rap game, as we all are

Look, I just want to get this to a place where I can sell TMZ pictures of my actual asshole

Heh, y′know?

'Cause, well, I, I think that′d be such a feat

If I could actually create, like, an alt alias

And sell TMZ pictures of my own asshole

Like, profit off of that

That, I would totally do it

I don't know why Seth Rogen′s not already doing it

I don't, I'm seein′ the signs that it′s not, that I'm I think I′m seein' the signs

I hope I am

If I′m really just misreading all these signs

Then, I am 100% gonna have, like, a legitimate nervous breakdown

Uh, at some point very soon

So, we'll find out about that

But I see some signs

Like, like I really am not fuckin′ that much

But, like, the other day I did fuck a bitch to music

Like, I fucked a bitch to some Miguel

And that's kind of new for me if I'm bein′ real

Like, I had never actually done it before

But I was feelin′ like I was some king shit

Y'know what I′m sayin'?

So, I was like, "Man, Imma fuck this bitch to some Miguel right now"

Uh, actually to be completely real to you, I, I will never fuck a girl to music again

I found the whole thing to feel, like, completely cliche

Like, I don′t need my emotions dictated to me by, like, music

It makes me feel like I'm in like a TV scene

Takes all the, like, realness out of the moment for me

Like, actually, was actually super weirded out by it

So, but still, like, I am about to let my hair down

And, I don′t know, I just feel like it's all comin'

I feel like, like, I′m literally, like, about to find out about everything

And it′s exciting

And, I, y'know, I, I had pinkeye last week

And I remember thinkin′ that, as I, like, was like, real down

'Cause I was, like, trying to keep recording and shit

But I was thinking, "What would Michael Jordan do?"

And he would play through the pinkeye

So that′s why I'm in here

I′m still not fully recovered, y'know what I'm sayin′?

I, I′m definitely clearin' up

Like, it′s totally on the upswing

But, I just want you know I did record this shit through pinkeye

Alright, I could talk for fuckin' years

Legitimate years

This is an outro to an out

You see how long I talk with outros to songs

But, goddamn

Look, I need to get out of here

I′m 'bout to go take a Khalifa

Rest up

That′s right, I did invent that phrase just there

"Take a Khalifa"

Y'know what I'm sayin′?

I also invented "That′s what she said"

But I get no credit for it

Uh, oh, shoutout to Dickheads, obviously

Fundin' this whole operation

Whatchu know about a Kickstarter, man?

Whatchu know about the best fans in the world?

Seriously

Thank you guys, I appreciate it

Honestly, you made my dreams come true, and that′s fact

Couldn't have done this without y′all

Uh, I'd like to shoutout my dick

I know, y′know, we haven't had the smoothest relationship

But, I feel as though by kind of putting our issues out there

Like, we have become something bigger than we could have been otherwise

And, hopefully soon you will be rewarded for your patience

And I will be rewarded for my patience

I, and, I respect you

I'd like to shoutout my brain

My brain got the hardest verse on the whole goddamn album

I hope my brain starts gettin′ some feature looks

But he don′t just hop on shit

Fuck, I, I got nothin' left

I′m out

I'm a professional rapper

Long live LD

And in case I don′t see ya

"Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight."