It's been one week since we got to see

Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry

Five days since they had the show

With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho

Three days since we heard the tale

About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male

Yesterday it occurred to me

That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, d'you see it last week?

Well, they had this one freak

Who sucker-punched his whole family

Do you recall when the brawl

Became a total free-for-all

And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee

Hey, see the stripper with the implants

She likes to lap dance

And date the boyfriend of her mother

Now here come's Jerry's next guest

And it's a slugfest

'Cause it's her trailer trash brother

Nymphomaniac is back on crack

It's like "When Animals Attack"

They all exhibit reprehensible behavior

Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes

Step on their toes, that's how it goes

They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame

On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame

There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange

When he found out that his wife had a sex change

They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly

They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight

With the Siamese twins and the transvestite

Five days since that awsulf brawl

They still haven't got the blood off the wall

It's been three days since the bitter fued

Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude

Yesterday, finally dawned on me

I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Guy Guest : Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister

Gal Guest : Oh? Well, which one?

Guy Guest : All of them

Gal Guest : Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!

Guy Guest : Yah? Well, well me too!

Gal Guest : Oh!

Guy Guest : And I've sleepin' with your dog Woof