Your Bulldog Drinks Champagne

There was a lady in a window

In the room across the way

From the hotel I was staying in

While on my holiday

I couldn't help but see everything

'Cause I was peeping I confess

Still after dinner every night

She had the strangest guest

She'd retire to her favorite chair

And sit there with a dog

Fill the crystal glasses

While the fire danced on the log

I watched them drink their bubbly brew

Until the fire grew dim

Then I stuck my head out the window

And said why not me instead of him

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne

And I ain't one to complain

What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be

So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over

'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk

Would have to be good to me

Fourteen days and fourteen nights

Not one word did I hear

Her with her silk and champagne

Over to me in my shorts with a beer

She just left the curtains wide

And I knew she knew I could see

Her and the pug-nosed mutt

Guzzling wine and teasing me

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne

And I ain't one to complain

What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be

So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over

'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk

Would have to be good to me

So I made a bolder move

I went over and rang her bell

I heard growling from inside

And I got scared as hell

Then the bulldog staggered out the door

And he said, how do yo do

But the lady bit me on the leg

And I said r-rouf, I love you too

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne

And I ain't one to complain

What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be

So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over

'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk

Would have to be good to me