Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Kermit: Hi, ho, this is Kermit the frog with a special news report from Sesame Street News. I'm speaking to you from the studio of that eminent singer and songwriter, Mr. Don Music, who's hard at work on his latest song. Let's listen, shall we? Yes.

Don: Twinkle, twinkle, little star...

Kermit: Sounds good.

Don: How I wonder what you are...

Kermit: Probably a classic.

Don: Up above the world so high... (looks up, then Kermit does) like a diamond in the.... in the ...in the... Oh, rats, I'll never finish this song, never! (throws his head onto the keyboard)

Kermit: Don, Don, what seems to be the problem? That sounded just lovely.

Don: The problem is, if you must know, (Kermit nods) that I can't find a word to rhyme with "high"! I need a word to rhyme with "high", listen. Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the ... I'll never get this song, never! I need a word to rhyme with "high"!

Kermit: Okay, well, let's see ... like a diamond in the ... I have it, like a diamond in a pie! That rhymes, how about that? See? Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in a pie.

Don: That doesn't make much sense, I mean, what's a diamond doing in a pie?!

Kermit: Well, ummm, I never thought of it that way. Well, what do you find in pies?

Don: Rhubard, apples, cherries...

Kermit: That's it then.

Don: You mean... (starts to play the piano) twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a cherry in a pie?

Kermit: Mmmmh, mmmmh (agreeable noises)

Don: That doesn't make any sense, I mean, what's a cherry pie doing up above in the sky?!

Kermit: Well, I don't know, it could be an advertisement for something, you know? I do see what you mean though. Ummm, well, we could change the other line then. What goes with cherry pie?

Don: Well, a nice sandwich maybe?

Kermit: There ya go, see? Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, would you like a ham on rye, or a piece of cherry pie.

Don: That doesn't make any sense, I mean, stars don't eat!

Kermit: Well, there it is, right there, there's your problem! There's your problem!

Don: It is?

Kermit: Yes, get rid of the star! Sure.

Don: Something else, let's see .... wiggle, wiggle little worm?

Kermit: No, no, no, worms are gooey.

Don: Slither, slither little snake?

Kermit: Naa, I don't like snakes.

Don: What else is there, horses? Fishes? Birds?

Kermit: Hey, how about that, how about this? Listen to this ... (Don starts to play) Whistle, whistle little bird, isn't eating crumbs absurd, try a ham and cheese on rye, or a piece of cherry pie...

Don: And if the crumbs are all you want, then don't come to my restaurant!

Kermit: Good.

Don: That's it! Of course! This could be my biggest hit!

Kermit: Your biggest hit?

Don: I've done it again!

Kermit: We did this together!

Don: Alright boys, hit it! (three western-type male muppets pop up from behind the piano, with mustaches and bandanas, they start to sing)

Kermit: I want a co-lyricist credit here.

Singers: Whistle, whistle little bird
Isn't eating crumbs absurd
Try a ham and cheese on rye
And a piece of cherry pie
If those crumbs are all you want
Don't come in my restaurant
Try a ham and cheese on rye
And a piece of cherry pie
If those crumbs are all you want
Don't come in my restaurant

Kermit: There you have it folks, another brand-new golden oldie from the pen of Don Music and Frog.