The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be

Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history, a few years ago I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory in New Mexico. I had a job there as a spy. No, I guess you know that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively of spies...of one persuasion or another. And, while I was out there, I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed since the good old days of Wyatt Earp and Home on the Range, and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be.

Along the trail you'll find me lopin'

Where the spaces are wide open,

In the land of the old A.E.C.* Yee-hoo!

Where the scenery's attractive,

And the air is radioactive,

Oh, the Wild West is where I wanna be.

'Mid the sagebrush and the cactus

I'll watch the fellows practice

Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze. A-ha!

I'll have on my sombrero,

And of course I'll wear a pair o'

Levis over my lead B.V.D.'s.**

I will leave the city's rush,

Leave the fancy and the plush,

Leave the snow and leave the slush

And the crowds.

I will seek the desert's hush,

Where the scenery is lush,

How I long to see the mush-room clouds.

'Mid the yuccas and the thistles

I'll watch the guided missiles,

While the old F.B.I. watches me. Yee-hoo!

Yes, I'll soon make my appearance

(Soon as I can get my clearance),

'Cause the Wild West is where I wanna be.