The Canadian Crisis Song

Often on the weekend I'll jump in my car

I won't fill up the tank although I'm going far

And if somebody asks me if I'm going to a bar

I'll say I'm shopping 'cross the border in the USA

I don't go down there to buy my groceries

I respect our farmers and our factories

I don't believe that "local" means it's poor in quality

It's just our goddamn prices are too high

(If he stays away for just two days)

I'll get one hundred dollars duty-free

If it adds to more I won't claim it for

(He won't declare the products if they're in his trunk)

Although it is Canada that I call home

I don't cheer for the Yankees when I'm in the Dome

I didn't swell with pride during the Desert Storm

It's just that I don't want to pay the tax

(It's just that he's too cheap to pay the tax)

(Yes, it's just like this, he's a loyalist)

I'll only shop at malls that fly our flag

(And he'll tell Bob Rae that he just won't pay)

Unless I need my unemployment benefits

(Get a job, get a job, get a job)

Now everyone is doing the same thing as me

They're doing what they can to beat the GST

They're lining up for miles at the Duty-Free

So I bought a JC Penny's store in Buffalo

(So everybody come on down to Buffalo)

(Cause if you stay away for just two days)

You'll get one hundred dollars duty-free

Though it's not at par it'll still go far

And it ends up in the pockets of a country man

(It ends up in the pockets of a country man)

Oh, Canada.