Steel Driving Man

There once was a time when the country was wide. A time before cars and planes and minivans. So, to move things from one place to the other, the railroad was built. But it just didn't up and build itself. Nope, it was built by the railroad men. And among these men was a man among men among men among men among men among men, a man as tall as the sky and as wide as the land. A man who could lay track faster than anyone else could run. A man with the strength of ten men. His name was John Henry, and I'm not gonna sing about him. No, I'm gonna sing about a lesser know figure, one who doesn't deserve a song. A man as lazy as a thousand men. A man who could barely raise his own body off the ground. A man who was barely a man at all. His name was Mike McCormick.

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man

Who never really gave a damn

Only thing he worked on was his tan

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man

He'd get up in the morning to hammer in them spikes

Unless he'd been up drinking the previous night

Or if his bones weren't feeling right

Or if it looked like it was going to rain

He had a tendency of being late for work

And everyone around thought he was a jerk

He'd take long breaks and say his back was hurt

Then he'd have a drink to ease the pain

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man

Who never really gave a damn

Only thing he worked on was his tan

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man

Mike's dad: Mike! Mike! Get up, Mike!

Mike: What, what is it?

Mike's dad: Get up, it's time to go to work.

Mike: Awww, already?

Mike's dad: Well, don't you want to hammer in them spikes?

Mike: No.

Mike's dad: Oh.

His arms were like twigs and his legs were like straws

His hands were like a baby's bum they were so soft

He'd wheeze and moan and whine and cough

Then go home and take a little nap

He never got fired cuz he was the boss' son

He just hung around and bothered eve