Santa's Beard

Once a year my friend puts on a red suit

And hangs around with me and my wife

Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee

And she stands beneath the mistletoe screaming

For him to stand beneath the mistletoe screaming

Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee

Why must she climb on his knee?

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

She kissed him once and whispered in his ear

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

I wish he would go

He's breaking up my home

She always had this twisted side to her*

But she'd never drag my name around town

But lately she's been humming cheating songs

And I don't like that fat guy around

No, I don't like that fat guy around

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

She kissed him once and whispered in his ear

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

I wish he would go

He's breaking up my home

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

Thrilling Christmas, trembling fear

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

I wish he would go

He's breaking up my home