Rubicon

Praying for myself.

These thoughts I try to hide.

I have faith in me and hope this will survive.

But it's tearing me apart.

I can't hear the words by which I guide.

So I must ask again who will carry me.

I will not deny that nothing can defend

from the helplessness that's cutting deep inside,

and I cannot prevent the thought that nothing's real.

Seems I've waited years for this day to end.

The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,

Are not there behind the face staring back at me.

The anger and the pain of knowing where I am.

I have come so far and I cannot return.

Nothing I can do that I have not done.

No words I can say. No truth left that I can see.

So must I let this end so everything falls apart.

Before I live the life as I have always done.

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.

Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.

So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.

I cannot return. I can't start again.