Murrain

in the dark of night I watch the shadows loom
the entity waits in the corners watching my every move
a knock at the door, a break in the waiting, an end to the silence
an end to the hopes and remains

I turn to the light and open the door
but cannot break the static sound
and all my actions amount to nothing
whether giving up, or giving in, or never coming down
all the dreams I had to give were all the things you disdained
what used to be mine became yours in the end
what used to be pure had become so murrain

and the spirit of hope
lies hopelessly still
the hurting will heal
but the heart never will
the dreams that I share
are the first things they take

sometimes I believe
I was god's first mistake

I don't believe in progress, I don't believe in change
I don't have anything you'd want to steal
I don't believe in god, I don't believe in love
and I don't believe I can feel
with cheshire cat smiles she shattered this trust
we used to have gold but it soon became dust
set course on the waves and unfurled my sails
what used to be hope, just one more reason to fail

and the spirit of hope lies hopelessly still
and the hurting will heal but this heart never will
and the dreams that I share they are the first thing they take
sometimes I believe I was god's first mistake...