Momma Was An Opium-smoker

Momma was an opium-smoker

She light it with a red-hot poker

She would never take a bath

We would ask her - she'd just laugh

Because our momma was an opium-smoker

She made it with this gentleman, Lincoln

They met on a boat, it was sinking

When she shoulda gone overboard,

Momma say, "No way, oh my lord"

"Only of opium smoke am I thinkin'"

Oh help us Lord

We can't afford, her destructive ways

You oughtta hear what she says!

She would just sit on her fat ass

Yell at us, "Fill up my wine glass!"

She would tell us, "How sad"

"You won't never know your dad"

Oh yeah, my momma was an opium-smoker

She hide the money and the drugs in the mattress

I wonder, how long has she been at this?

And I say, "Mom, bang the gong"

"Can't you see, it's gone all wrong?"

Oh yeah, my momma was an opium-smoker