Melanie, Melanie

It's obvious she'd be your choice

She has the straightest hair, the sweetest voice

She's student council president

Speaks French with the best accent

When she's there

The boys can't help but stare

Oh! Oh! It's so unfair!

Melanie, Melanie

You'll be the death of me

I'll take a straightening iron to my hair

I'll try to wear the clothes she wears

I know it's not the smartest thing to do;

I shouldn't change myself for you.

I'll never have her GPA

I'll never top her college essay

I'll never have her tiny waist;

Maybe that's why I was replaced.

Can't bring myself to not eat meat

My room will never be that neat.

I don't care

I don't have a prayer

Oh! Oh! It's so unfair.

Melanie, Melanie

You'll be the death of me

I'll take a straightening iron to my hair

I'll try to wear the clothes she wears

I know it's not the smartest thing to do;

I shouldn't change myself for you.