Let's Do It

Freda and Barry sat one night.

The sky was clear. The stars were bright.

The wind was soft. The moon was up.

Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.

She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.

Barry cringed in fear and dread

As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!

Let's do it,

Do it while the mood is right!

I'm feeling

Appealing.

I've really got an appetite.

I'm on fire

With desire.

I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.

Let's do it!

Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

I don't believe in too much sex.

This fashion

For passion

Turns us into nervous wrecks.

No derision!

My decision—

I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.

I can't do it.

I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!

Let's do it,

Do it till our hearts go boom!

Go native,

Creative

Living in the living room.

This folly

Is jolly.

Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.

Let's do it!

Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.

I'm older,

Feel colder.

It's other things that turn me on.

I'm imploring:

I'm bo