Jesus Envy

Snow is falling in the city
Past the windows which cast a glow
Through the curtains, friends and flirtin
Christmas trees and mistletoe
Snow keeps fallin in the city
Powdered sugar on the hats of passersby
And all I can do is eat Moo Shu
And cry, cry, cry
'cause I ve got Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy
I remember each December
As the preparations reached a fevered peak
And the Tabors, my next-door neighbors
Would jump into high gear each Christmas week
And all their tree lights and other delights
Made my menorah look like someone s cruel hoax
Til my shrink, Dr. Charoses made the diagnosis
And named the feeling that each Christmastime evokes

He called it Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy
Don t get me wrong. I m proud to be a member of the tribe
But I abhor Manischewitz all the more
With every glass of eggnog I imbibe
And I always give a dollar to the sidewalk Santas
As they ring their little bells outside the stores
'cause they say that Christmas isn t Christmas without the Salvation Army
And herpes isn t herpes without the sores
Old Ebenezer was a grumpy grouchy geezer
Who would rather lose a leg than spend a pound
One day I asked him why, and his answer was surprising
He said he couldn t find a tzedakah box around
You see, old Ebenezer was really Eleazer
And he didn t say Bah Humbug
Just the baruch-hu
Maybe Ebenezer just had Jesus envy too
He had Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy