If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake

(Count is playing ominous music on a piano)

Cookie: Hey Count, Count, woah, stop playing

Count: Ahh, Cookie Monster

Cookie: Well, well, well...

Count: That's three wells, ha ha ha

Cookie: Me no know you play piano that good

Count: Of course

Cookie: Oh, do me favor. Look- Me found terrific song-- it all about food! Ya, you play piano and me sing it? Here, ya, good...(Count resumes scary music)

Cookie: No, wait, not like that. Here, like paper say- okay- real jumpy

Count: Ah, very good

Cookie: It all about food

Count: I will count the notes-- 88 wonderful piano notes. Sing it Cookie Monster!

Cookie: Okay...

If me knew you were coming
Me'd have baked a cake (1 cake)
Baked a cake (2 cakes)
Baked a cake (3 cakes)
If me knew you were coming
Me'd have baked a cake (4 cakes)
How'd ya do, how'd ya do, how'd ya do?
(3 how's ya do's)

If you dropped me a letter,
Me would hire a band (1 band)
Hire a band (2 bands)
Hire a band (3 bands)
If you dropped me a letter
Me'd have hired a band (4 bands)
And spread the welcome mat for you
(Thank you very much)

Now me don't know where
You came from (over there!)
And me don't know where
You've been (I've been counting)
But it really doesn't matter
Grab a chair and fill your platter
And dig, dig, dig right in (3 digs)

If me knew you were coming
Me'd would baked a cake (1 cake)
Baked a cake (2 cakes)
Baked a cake (3 cakes)
If me knew you were coming
Me'd have baked a cake (4 cakes)
How'd you do, how'd you do, how'd you do
(Three more how'd you do's)

Now me don't know where
You come from (I told you, over there)
And me don't know where you been
(Counting, of course)
But it really doesn't matter
Grab a chair and fill your platter
And dig, dig, dig right in (3 wonderful digs)

If me knew you were coming
Me'd have baked a cake (1 cake)
Baked a cake (that's 2 cakes)
Baked a cake (that's 3)
If me knew you were coming
Me'd have baked a cake (4 cakes)
How'd you do, how'd you do, how'd you do?
(3 more how'd you do's)
How'd ya do, how'd you do, how'd you do?
(that's 9, that's 12 how'd you do's)
How'd you do, how'd you do, how'd you do?
(Ah, that's 13, 14, 15 how'd you do's)

Cookie: You play the piano so good

Count: Ah, thank you very much

Cookie: Me sing so good, me deserve cookie

Count: Ah, a little dinner music (resumes playing)