Charliesomething

To my dearest little sister, Sally Brown, it s Charlie here
A lot of things have happened since you skipped town
For one, I m queer, for about a year
I know, of course, you might be less than psyched
About the path I took
But I had to face the fact that I kind of liked
How Linus looked, before he booked
'cause Patty came out and left me shocked and confused
She shacked up with Marcy, who was clearly abused
And I picked up a needle that had just been used before

Now Lucy s playing hockey, her team just won the Stanley Cup
Schroeder dresses just like Beethoven did and ties her up
And she barks like a pup
And the hunt is on for Linus,

But as you know, he s hard to catch

You see, he found that lots of interesting things could grow in the Pumpkin Patch
But the feds are no match
'cause he and the red-haired girl split the scene
The psilocybin sultan and the cannabis queen
And Franklin shot Tupac and now he ain t nowhere to be seen

Break it down!
Woodstock got eaten by the cat who lives next door
Snoopy got neutered and now he ain t Joe Cool no more
And he s still kind of sore
And Pig Pen od d, was just a matter of time
He couldn t keep a job on account of the grime
And he couldn t face a future of small-town crime no more
So write us all a letter and tell us how the city is
Freda said she saw you, so tell me how s the porno biz,
My little sis, the porno biz, my little sis