Estrangement

Been estranging my friends lately

I don′t even keep in touch with 'em enough to knowIf they love or hate me

Maybe it′s just in my head

Maybe they still see me the same

But even it ain't, I know I'm the only one to blame

Cuz I done sacrificed everything for this fucking game

And what the fuck have I gained from it? Nothing but pain

I′ve been ducking invitations

Knowingly letting well-known faces turn into strangers

And I got my cell phone mostly on airplane mode

Either that or just let the sucker ring

But I do it only for the airplay though

Cuz you know, success takes sacrifice, right

That′s what all the motivational videos say

That nothing worth having in life comes without a hefty price to pay

No more video games

No more playing basketball, No more watching a movie

No more sleep - after all

This a question of if you truly want it more

If you want it more than the next person

Are you ready to practice your craft till your head's hurting?

Are you ready to let everything else in your life

Go to rack and ruin, if you had to, pursuing a single object?

Are you willing to bet

Everything on a one in a million odds

And ignore the noise from the people who think it′s nonsense?

Even if it's the voice of your conscience

That you are forced to silence

Do you have what it takes to be an artist?

No I don′t

No I can't

I was not

Built for this

Tired of

All this crap

Why do I

Cling to this?

No I don′t

No I can't

I was not

Built for this

Tired of

All this crap

Why do I

Double Life

You treat you nine to five as a side hustle

Half-assing everything

Why bother busting your ass in a grind that doesn't

Contribute nothing to what you really wanna do in life

And you have tried your best to do it right

But your mind doesn′t cooperate

It′s not that you really hate it

You might even start to like it

If not for the fact that you see it

Just as a stepping stone, to something that you feel is greater

And you got to keep it secret

And now you're alienated

Because to your colleagues and your friends

Engineering is a career, not a means to an end

Not mere sustenance, nor the easiest way they saw to receiving a check

You′re seeing their passion and it just makes you upset

You're reeking of guilt

What happened to being honest and keeping it real?

You′re rapping until the dawn and asleep at the wheel

At work and you're feeling a prick of conscience

When you′re reaping the bills

You're eating your fill, but the food is

Stolen from the guy you pretend to be

How much longer can you keep it concealed?

You're no good at keeping secrets, it′ll leak through the seal

And when it does leak, and trust me, ′cuz it will

They're gonna spit you out and expose your phony facade

That is the moment you′ll truly know how lonely you are

Can you keep from falling apart and folding when the going gets hard?

Instead of folding your cards

Do you have what it takes to be an artist?

No I don't

No I can′t

I was not

Built for this

Tired of

All this crap

Why do I

Cling to this?

No I don't

No I can′t

I was not

Built for this

Tired of

All this crap

Why do I

Writer's Block

I'm back from a long day at work

And I get my pen and my pad, trying to rack my brain

And navigate through a maze of words

Trying to find the right ones that′ll make a verse

I′m hoping that a stray burst of inspiration occurs

I'm feelin′ amazing at first

But hours later, and with nada on the piece of paper

My mental state's getting worse

I′m blaming work for leaving me drained and feeling discouraged

I feel like I just traded my brain with a bird

I'm trynna be taking my own time

And say what I feel, but what I′m feeling just don't rhyme

And the stuff that I'm writing that does rhyme doesn′t make any sense

The break of dawn is when my day′s gonna end

That is another one wasted again

I'm wondering how the fuck have I ever done this before?

And how the hell am I gonna do it a hundred times more?

Forget a song, I′ll be lucky if I form a coherent sentence anymore

Damn it! Man I'm in a slump, I′m done!

And I've hit a wall of brick, am I ever getting up?

Should I hang it up? Rapping ain′t for me

Fooled yourself enough with make-believe!

Time to wake up, snap out of this fantasy

Can't you see you're lying to yourself, fool?

That′ll be how bad you will feel the days

That you can′t write for shit

Do you have what it takes to push through the

Moments you're at your lowest as a person and poet?

Do you have what it takes to be an artist?