I was looking for a cheap car in the Sunday classifieds

When an ad jumped out and hit me right between my bugged out eyes

It was a two-year-old Mercedes, only 700 bucksI couldn′t make my trembling fingers dial that number fast enough

The woman who picked up the phone said, "Yes, it's still for sale

But I′ve had about one thousand calls, so you'd better move your tail"

When I drove up that long driveway with the cash there in my hand

She met me at the garage with a short skirt and a tan

When we took it for a test drive, I couldn't believe my luck

She said, "I′ll throw in them old Palmer golf clubs there in the trunk"

None of this was making sense, but then it dawned on me

When she referred to her old man as a cheating SOB

It was a classic case of a woman scorned

She′ll make that man wish he had never been born

She's a 40-something year old judge and jury

Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman

So she took me out to breakfast, put it on his credit card

And by the time they poured the coffee, she was pouring out her heart

Stories of his sneaking ′round and sordid escapades

Secretaries, waitresses, and bimbos half his age

She said, "You know there's one thing I ought to thank him for

Well, he ticked me off so much, I put new locks on my doors"

It′s a classic case of a woman scorned

She'll make that man wish he had never been born

She′s a 40-something year old judge and jury

Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman

Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time

And if you ask me, that man's a fool or else he must be blind

I'll never know his motives, can′t get inside his head

But, I′m driving that Mercedes, and I'm sleeping in his bed

It′s a classic case of a woman scorned

She'll make that man wish he had never been born

She′s a 40-something year old judge and jury

Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman

Revenge of a middle-aged woman

I know I oughta feel guilty about something

I just can't think of what it might be