When I was, yeah, high ′til I was three

I suffered from petit mal epilepsy

Any excitement gave me a fitBut there were drugs to cure me of it

Weird diseases

I get weird diseases

Whenever Krishna sneezes

I get weird diseases

So at the least sign of emotion

I got a tranquilizing potion

Thus from the time I was a young boy

I could feel neither anger nor joy

Just weird diseases

Random weird diseases

Once from eating recalled cheeses

I got weird diseases

Nearly fatal renal cysts

Maybe Asperger's if that exists

Pityriasis rosea

Two separate times giardia

Weird diseases

I get weird diseases

Wafting on the toxic breezes

I get weird diseases

Debilitating spider bites

Hiccups for three days and nights

A thousand earaches, one deformed eardrum

Hyperacusis, what′s that from?

It's from weird diseases

I get weird diseases

Whenever baby Jesus pleases

He gives me weird diseases

Chronic fatigue

COPD

Petit mal epilepsy

Two big holes inside my brain

Migraine aura sans migraine

Weird diseases

I get weird diseases

Weird diseases

Weird diseases

I get weird diseases