Sup up your beer and collect your fags

There′s a row going on down near Slough

Get out your mat and pray to the WestI'll get out mine and pray for myself

Thought you were smart when you took them on

But you didn′t take a peep in their artillery room

All that rugby puts hairs on your chest

What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?

Hello, hooray

What a nice day for the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello, hooray

I hope rain stops play for the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse

Tore down the House of Commons in your brand-new shoes

Composed a revolutionary symphony

Then went to bed with a charming young thing

Hello, hooray

Cheers then, mate to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello, hooray

An Extremist scrape with the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

What a catalyst you turned out to be

Loaded the guns

Then you run off home for your tea

Left me standing like a guilty schoolboy

What a catalyst you turned out to be

Loaded the guns

Then you run off home for your tea

Left me standing like a naughty schoolboy

We came out of it naturally the worst

Beaten and bloody and I was sick down my shirt

We were no match for their untamed wit

Though some of the lads said they'd be back next week

Hello, hooray

There's a price to pay to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello, hooray

I′d prefer the plague to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello, hooray

There′s a price to pay to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Hello, hooray

I'd prefer the plague to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles

Eton Rifles

Eton Rifles