[J:] Hey Kage

[K:] Jables

[J:] How goes it man?

[K:] S'good… s'good

[J:] Y'know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the

best fucking band in the world.

[K:] Well yeah me too!

[J:] There's no point in doing it if we're not the best.

[K:] Well s'true. I agree with that.

[J:] I mean what, yeah we're gonna be, yeah we're really good. We're like

almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that.

[K:] Yeah

[J:] We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust!

[K:] What, what do you..

[J:] All those fucking youngsters gotta lick our fucking boot or fuck it!

Y'know what I mean?

[K:] Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though?

[J:] [sigh] Dude you need to fucking have some lessons.

[K:] What!

[J:] I know, you're really good but you gotta expand your game.

[K:] Lessons!

[J:] Y'know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a fucking,

y'know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal?

[K:] Man, yeah, that's true. That's true.

[J:] Well I've just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy.

[K:] Really?

[J:] And I, I hope you're not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude.

[K:] Yeah? Oh no, what!

[J:] Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don't like- ah hey! I

swear, if you don't like it we'll fucking fire his ass. He's out.

[K:] Who is this guy? I never…

[J:] His name is Felix Char [?]

[K:] Urgh, what.

[J:] He's from Spain and he is the best.

[K:] Oh god…

[J:] I got him from the fucking London Phildsarmonic. (Meant to be Philharmonic)

[K:] Urgh, I just, I don't know him, it seems weird!

[J:] Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him?

[K:] OK. Alright. I'll spend a minute with him.

[J:] OK bro, he's right outside I'm sending him in.

[K:] Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid.

[F:] Hello?

[K:] Uh, hi!

[F:] Hello, I am Felix Char.

[K:] Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um.

[F:] Ah, as, Jack as asked me to spend some time with you. Uh.

[K:] OK, hm.

[F:] One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique.

[K:] OK.

[F:] Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here?

[K:] Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here.

[F:] Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender?

[K:] Ah well it's a Gibson.

[F:] Yes a Gibson, yes. Made by the same, uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up?

[K:] OK. Yeah.

[F:] No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!

[K:] What? What'd I do? What'd I do?

[F:] You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar!

[K:] I just picked it up, I just-

[F:] No,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cállate tu bocar, pick it up from the body.

[K:] The what!

[F:] The body.

[K:] Oh the body! Body, OK.

[F:] I'm sorry about my accent.

[K:] I didn't know, I didn't know.

[F:] Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play.

[K:] Uh, OK? Uh.

[F:] No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight.

[K:] They're too tight?

[F:] Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see?

[K:] Oh! Hn.

[F:] If I put my finger, on your finger.

[K:] Hey!

[F:] Then you can feel…

[K:] I can! Wait!

[F:] Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips.

[K:] Mhmhm!

[F:] Yes that's good.

[K:] Hey man!

[F:] Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm.

[K:] I'm just try- what!?

[F:] Feel this. Do you feel that?

[K:] Oh god! This is really weird man!

[F:] That's my cock.

[K:] WHAT!

[F:] That's my cock in your butt cheeks.

[K:] OH GOD! Hey!

[F:] Do you feel it?

[K:] NO!

[F:] Now I'm going to tough your cock.

[K:] OW!

[F:] Let me touch your penis.

[J:] It's me!

[K:] WHAT?!

[J:] It's me. It's JB.

[K:] GOD!

[J:] There's no Felix dude.

[K:] What are you doing?!

[J:] I'M FUCKING WAKING YOU UP! I'M TRYING TO SHAKE YOUR FOUNDATIONS!

[K:] By touching me with your penis?!

[J:] YES! By fucking touching your penis! Whatever it takes!

[K:] God!

[J:] That's all I'm saying dude! I'm making a point! Let's get fucking

serious! Let's get physical! Alright. Let's take it from the top.