(Indescipherable foreign accent)

Is everybody ready?

Hans? Johann? Heidi?

Let's go, everybody.

I'm sorry I'm a girl,

and not a man.

Then I could come all the time,

in the palm of my precious little hand.

Get drunk in the bars,

and act like a klutz.

It really wouldn't matter.

I'd be too stupid to be nuts.

(Chorus)

I Wanna Be a Man

So I can stink.

A big, tough guy.

I'm sick of pink.

And if I was a man,

I could tell lots of lies

About all the girls I've fucked.

Just like all of you guys.

I'd be self-sufficent.

And I wouldn't need another.

But if I got a little boo-boo.

I'd go running back to my mother.

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,

I'd always be hot.

Wouldn't matter what I fucked,

Just as long as it's got a twat.

I'd just rip off her pants,

And fuck her, 1, 2, 3.

How did this stinking cunt,

Have the luck to find me.

(Ooo!)

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,

I could piss anywhere.

Piss on your wrist, you sonofabitch.

When you're a man, you don't care.

I could fuck any time,

and be hard as a rock.

Spend my life worrying about

the size of my teeny little cock.

(Chorus)

And if I was a man,

All you sluts would give me head.

(I'd) Get my rocks off,

then I'd kick you out of bed.

Be tackless and boring,

with nauseating breath.

I'd be a worthless piece of shit

From birth until death.

(Everybody!)

(Chorus)

(Everybody sing)

(Chorus repeated in background)