[Intro]

You fuckin' groupie

Pick up the goddamn phone

[Verse 1]

Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday? With who you say?

I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'd you do? Screw Dre?

You went there lookin' for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame

Keep playin' me, you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg

You fake, lyin' slut, you never told me you knew Drake

And Lupe? You wanna lose two legs?

You tryin' to flip this on me? If I spent more time with you, you say

"Okay, yeah, and I'm coo-coo, eh?" — Well, screw you

And I'll be the third person who screwed you today

Oh, fourth—Dre, Drake, Lupe—ooh, touché

You were too two-faced for me

Thought you was my number one true-blue ace

But you ain't and I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face

'Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo, you make my fuckin' Bluetooth ache

You're feeling blue? Too late, go smurf yourself

You make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid

Here's what you say to someone you hate

[Chorus]

My life would be so much better

If you just dropped dead

I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'

And then this thought just popped in my head

And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier

If you dropped dead?

I would feel so much, much better (better, better)

[Verse 2]

Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink

Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think

'Til the cops pulled me over, but they let me go, 'cause I told 'em

I'm only drivin' drunk 'cause that bitch drove me to drink

I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes

But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby, come on!

Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm

Channelin' my anger through every single station that's on!

'Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say, "he-art"

'Cause she ripped it in two pa-arts and threw it in the garbage

Who do you think you a-are? Bitch, guess it's time for me to get the dust off

And pick myself up off the carpet

But I'll never say the L-word again

I lo-lo-lo-lo… lesbian!

Aaahhh! I hope you hear this song

And go into a cardiac arrest, my life'd be so much better if you just—

[Chorus]

My life would be so much better

If you just dropped dead

I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'

And then this thought just popped in my head

And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier

If you dropped dead?

I would feel so much, much better

[Bridge]

'Cause you told me

You'd love me

Forever

Bitch, that was a lie

Now I never

Wanted someone to die

So bad in my fuckin' life

But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea

[Verse 3]

And I'ma have a whale of a time

Bein' a single sailor for the night, bitch, on a scale of

One to ten, shit, I must be the Holy Grail of

Catches, ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fuckin' name (De La)

I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor-made

For me, say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered, and nail her

These bitches tryin' to get attached, but they're failin' to latch onto the tail of

My bumper, they're scratchin' at the back of my trailer

Like I'm itchin' to get hitched, yeah, I'm rich as a bitch

But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch

Bitch, you complain when you listen to this

But you still throw yourself at me: that's what I call pitchin' a bitch

That's why I'm swingin' at this chicks on-site

Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike

So all that love shit is null and void, bitch, I'm a droid

I avoid Cupid, stupid! Wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed

Oye-yoy-yoy, man-oh-man, your boy-boy-boys

Gettin' sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink

You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

She's all 99 of 'em, I need a machine gun

I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song

And go into a cardiac arrest, have a heart attack and just

Drop dead, and I'ma throw a fuckin' party after this, 'cause yes

[Chorus]

My life would be so much better

If you just dropped dead (I hate you)

I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'

And then this thought just popped in my head (You made me like this way)

And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier

If you dropped dead? (Bitch)

I would feel so much, much better

[Outro]

I'm just playin', bitch

You know I love you