He seemed shy and so confused

Now that he's older, he's last year's news

She is looking for somebody fresh and young

She is looking for someone less miserable

She's looking for somebody new

Much better than Eddie Vedder

His pictures used to line her locker

But they don't hang there any longer

She has gone and burned them all

Eddie comes crashing down from the bathroom wall

Now she's looking for somebody cuter

Someone more fun who rides a scooter

Eddie hides his face behind a jokeshop mask

Eddie, you've missed the grade,

you've failed the test

She's looking for somebody better

Much better than Eddie Vedder

There's got to be somebody better

Much better than Eddie Vedder