This is a work of fiction

Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author′s Imagination

Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, or actual events, is purely CoincidentalThis is a Shockocracy, this is satire, but Not Sees are real

It's not hard

To be a bard on four strings

It′s really not hard

To be a bard

On four strings

What's hard

Is being heard as a bard

Who has something nice to sing

But just can't sing the thing

That′s what′s hard

To be the kind of Bard

That would like to sing the nice thing

I'd prefer to sing the nice thing

Yes I would

That′d be good

Yes I would

That would be oh so good

So why am I stuck

Why am I stuck

Why am I stuck in the gateway between Heaven and Hell

Why am I stuck at the Gate, always riding the fence

Why can't I commence

The next part of the story

I don′t know the answer

Do you know yours? Of course I know you're

Listening with a heart to your own life

I do that too when I listen to music

That′s why I'm doing this for you

And a little bit for me

That's why I′m doing this for you

That′s why I'm doing this for me

Can you see? I′m just like you

You hear my out of tune Muse

You hear its dark views

You see the Lightning in its eyes

You see the angel wings but those are talons

This isn't talent, it′s talons

The talons of a Dark Eagle

A dark eagle looking over the landscape

A shadow moving over the ground

A dark eagle looking for pray, but preying on none

A dark eagle just looking at what's happening on the ground

From up above the Earth

A dark eagle just looking at the ground

To see if someone needs help

Could anybody else out there need some help? Maybe so

Help those you can

And the others you have to let go

You have to let them go

Because they need their freedom

They need their independence

They can′t be dependent upon you, that's right

They need their freedom

So they can grow the F up

You've grow Furies up your whole life

Why can′t one of them be your brother

You forgive everyone else but your brother

It′s time maybe for you to grow up, Doctor Deer

My name is Azrael

And I've been watching this shit-show

I don′t understand what's happening here

You got Cain and Abel

This is an old story, friends

Aren′t we past nursery school? Let's settle the matter

You have a recording of your brother renouncing his inheritance

That′s legal to do in the State of New Jersey, of course it is, that's right

You're the master spellcaster on Earth

You′ve researched magic right alongside psychology

It was the topic of your dissertation

And your post-doctoral studies on hypnosis, and influence and the truth

And you′re worried about him? Because of a mistake he made

Him? This guy

I'm sorry, but in 700,000 years I′ve never seen anything quite like this

Not since Cain and Abel

Why is this family so dramatic?

Wait a minute, they're Juice

Wait a minute

Oh

Joo on Joo crime

A jealousy crime

Oh yeah we wrote this shit in Genesis when we wrote books back then

And were the first storytellers of such things on earth

Well, kind of, OK not really

That′s a privileged view

The oral traditions of Africa were even deeper than those of the Middle East

And China already had sophisticated technological empires

Of course they did, as did Egypt

And then there were the Atlantians but let's not talk about those

Because we think that those were fake

And then let′s not about the Jain before the Buddhists

Who tracked 50,000 years of saints

Saints who taught kindness

Saints who taught letting go

Saints who taught how to be brothers with a murderer

Even if he's probably gonna be your murderer

Yeah well, maybe not, if you let him go

So let your murderer go, that's the thing

Let your murderer go, that′s what Azrael will sing

No, I′m not a demon from Hell

Why do you believe in Hell

Even Joos don't believe in hell if you′re religious

There's just the place of darkness

We call it Sheol

The place of darkness

It′s namelessness

It's namelessness

And if I call you my murderer, then you′re famous forever

Especially if you never murder me

You never murder me

Well then you'll be famous and rich, I guess, forever

Maybe you'll become a nicer person

You′ll probably never go to jail

I expect you′ll have me dead before that

I know how much you just wanted to win

What you did to Mom was horrible

How could you do that to our Mom

Unless she humiliated you, by your lack of success

Humiliated you, on every phone call

That's why I didn′t call her but every two weeks

Yet you called her every day

And I'm telling you that was a mistake

Sometimes you have to grow the Fury up my brother

And stop calling, my brother, our mother

Who is total care

Our mother, who knows a righteous Angel she raised

Our mother, who wants me to be your brother again

This is where I sing upon a Wing

This is where I rise above your eyes

This is where I fly into the Sky

And you wonder why

He′s flying so High

This is where I rise into the Skies

This is where I wing a Truth to sing

The Truth I bring before your eyes will rise

And it's not even Biblical

I′m letting him go as an act of Grace

Imagine a Serpent showing Grace

That's how it feels to him

I call Baal

Master, what do You have me here for

I've been sleeping

It′s very tiresome and depressing in the Pit

I′m waiting on new entries today

And I've had nothing to eat today

In fact, I would like to find something to eat soon

I might eat You, Master, if You′re not careful

I might You eat, Master, I might eat You

Unless you have a meal with me, Master

Unless you have a meal with me, Master, soon

Baal, Baal, how you doin'

It′s nice to see you again

Baal, Baal, how you doin'

Listen it′s just Me, Shockocracy's gate guy

I have to ask you for a favor

What is it Master

Listen, you gotta stop callin' Me that

Just because I command a regiment of angels that are angry because people lie

Doesn′t mean I′m all that

Baal, I'm askin′ you a question

Could you kind of channel somebody for me

It's the only man on Earth who I′m afraid of as a victim, you see

Master, just tell me who you want to channel

And I'll hold open Shockocracy′s gate

But you have to follow the rules if I channel him

You have to issue his rights, because

Honor Thy Father And Mother

You oath-keeping angel

Honor Thy Father And Mother

And the Mother needs you to honor him

Even if he tried to kill her, you have to honor him

Baal

Yes, master

I have to remind you that even though I'm a neutral angel, you're hellspawn

And you don′t understand the Commandments like people who don′t live in Hell

Honor Thy Father and Mother doesn't apply to their murderers at all

Their murderers have no standing in the Ten Commandments because they violated all Ten

Oh, well you′re getting me on a technicality, Master

I'm sorry, I assumed we were dealing with non-Commandment breakers

Well this is why my favorite magical spell that i teach the humans is

No, no, no, no

Go out of tune on purpose and say No

Go out of tune on purpose and say No

Just do it in one cut, and say No

The greatest weapon on Earth is No

The greatest weapon on Earth is No

Or it should be, it should be

It should be the greatest weapon on Earth

The First Amendment protects No

The First Amendment protects No

And it protects me as an angel of the First Amendment

Because I′m the Reverend Dr. Shipon

I've been ordained for a couple years

The Reverend Dr. Shipon, it′s not that hard to do

And all of my things since 2018 are protected under Freedom of Religion

Ultimate absolvable

Don't care who you are

Ultimate absolvable is me

Self-legitimizing entity

Who only affiliates with the righteous

I choose my patients that way

Even if they're on some sort of reform

I only choose the ones who are repentant

I only choose the ones who are remorseful

Forgiven is you

Forgiven is you

You little pussycat, forgiven is you

But as for your wife, I have nothin′ to do with pork that grows in Pennsylvania

I know she′s from Jersey

These are the slavery chords I was taught by my grandmother

The things she whispered in my ear

She taught me melodies that were the magic spells she could

And I just kind of figured out the rest

Why are Joos always playing goblin music

It's sounds like it′s really kind of weird and funky

Like klezmer and shit

Well, listen, Joos are playing those goblin chords to scare you away

We can be frightening or dramatic

I'll choose dramatic every time

But it′s actually a religious right in the United States to be that way

It's a religious right in the United States to be my way

The founders of the country protected me

The founders of the country protected people like me from you

The weird thing is

You get to have your life

That′s weird

You get to have your life because the standard of evidence in a criminal case

Is different from the one with the civil case, the civil case

The giant civil case also coming your way if I choose

You'll be like the Fat OJ

The Fat OJ

It'll be sensational - I′ll even get you a white Bronco

The Fat OJ

I don′t even know who I'm talking about at this point, I′m just babbling, you know, because

I'm clearly mad, the Master of Madness

You guys are funny, you know

I′m clearly flipped my lid

But sit down with me at a chess board, I might show you something

Put me before a judge, and I'll show you something else

If they let me talk

But I don′t know if I'll ever get a chance to tell my story before a judge

Because I think the murder's coming first

It′s not so crazy when it happened in your family

And everybody in your family agrees with you

Me, my two sisters, my brother-in-law, and my Dad

The only one who doesn′t agree is my Mother, and that's sad

Because she has a catastrophic brain injury

So Mom′s out, understand? At least I think so

Her consideration is taken off the shelf with the other people who love her

Closing the Door

And that's the Truth

And we′ll close the door with swords, we'll close the door with swords

We′re closing that Door with swords, forever

You think I'm doing this for money? I'm not

I′m doing this because of the righteous truth, of the truth, uncensored

That′s why we have an anti-censorship first rights item in the Bill of Rights

The very first one

It says when I sing my Truth, I can call it religion

Now why would an Angel call it religion

Well if he believes He's an Angel, it′s religion, Jesus Christ

And he's the Reverend Doctor Randolph Scott Shipon

Or he′s doing satire, which is protected, under the First Amendment

And it doesn't matter which way I say it

I′m so depressed, I'm so scattered, I'm so disorganized

I′m over it, so are you

I′m just setting the record straight while Baal here gets organized

Baal, are you going to conjure him or not

I'm doing A and F, and A and F, I want you to talk to me

Master, I′m ready to open the Gate

Get the whip, Baal

Hello, my brother

Hello, my brother

I'm doing what Elizabeth Gilbert did in the book Eat, Pray, Love

I′m in the basement conjuring my brother through a chalk Gate on the wall

That I think my daughter drew as a rainbow

You're standing in a pentacle

Being judged by lower level personnel

Garth Brooks said I have friends in low places

And I stand between Heaven and Hell

Thanks to you

Thanks to you

Thanks to you

And your lovely wife

I stand between Heaven and Hell for 20 years

While you libeled me for years

And slandered me for 20 years

Because of the shame of your whole life

You and your lovely wife

You libeled me and my sisters, and slandered us for years

And you also did Dad

He may be a little bit special

But you did Dad dirty, you did Dad

I′m a little special too

And way more talented than you

And the rules are I must send you out with forgiveness

Fuck

You have to stop calling the Masonic home

You're so close to being set free, by Me

You're so close to being set free, by Me

As Power of Attorney, I′m asking for a log of all your calls to me

I′ve made my position abundantly clear

That you and your wife are not to ever come near

And I'll work with the Prosecutor′s office to make sure that happens

I'm already making sure that happens

I put people on notice what I′m thinking as soon as I think it

Everybody disagrees with that

But I can say I was publicly honest the whole time

Unlike people who have secrets, I can't, I rhyme

When you sing you can′t keep secrets

When you sing you can't keep secrets

When you sing you can't keep secrets

I hate major chords

And so you are bored

I′m bored too

Just like you

I′m just playing this to punish you, this time

And so here's my obligation

When the Saints go marching in

I will deny you as my kin

But you get to live on this planet

When the Saints go marching in

Oh when the Saints go marching in

I′m gonna deny that you're my kin

But I guess you′ll be in that number

When the saints go marching in

I'm a saint, you′re a saint, we're all saints, even when ain't, we′re saints

I′m a saint, you're a saint, we′re all saints, even when ain't, we′re saints

When the saints go marching in

I'm gonna have to expect that you as my kin will hold me to account

If I can′t be normal and happy

When I'm alive

When I'm alive

When the only person who you treacherized was Mom and Dad

And we′re just supposed to really forget our older people like Mom and Dad

Wait a minute

I can′t do that, cause that's Nazi shit

I won′t do that, you see

So I'll fight for every other victim

I guess just not Mom and Dad

Wait a minute, wait, what? Alright wait, change this whole shit

This isn′t gonna work, artistically or anything like that

I mean, who wants to listen to shit like this

Is he still standing in the Gate

Y-yes, Master

Do I have to talk to him

No, he is bound and gagged, you don't have to talk to him

We wouldn′t expect it, his breath is horrible

I've already channeled him before, I don't need to talk to him, right

No Master, I′d advise that you don′t speak to him

I call in the Army of Light

The people living in their Truth

Speak of confession before God

Ask for forgiveness, Man

But not from Me

Kneel for the Maker

I can't

The wings don′t allow for kneeling

It's a design flaw

Listen, He has some great ideas, and He has some terrible ones, alright

One of them is that the wings are so big and heavy

That you actually can′t even move, alright

And when you go to kneel, it's like ahhh, you fall over

It′s horrible, so I don't advise the wings, ever, OK

It'll give you the most horrible arthritis you′ve ever had in your life

Alright mortal, can we dispense with the mortal? Yes, Master

I wish you well

I don′t wish you Hell

Just stay the hell away from Me and my Family

And it's the whole Shipon family

They′re My family

They stand being Me

And not behind you, ever, never behind you

You tried with Aunt M

All the stolen jewelry over 20 years, we never understood it

How could it be missing

All the slander that it could be someone else

Did you know that you were on Candid Camera

We had devices, we had devices in the house, for you, lovelies

We had devices, we had devices in the house, for you, lovelies

We knew that when Dad's necklace got stolen from his neck

It should have killed him, but it didn′t

Took you a while to try something else

But you kept trying it

Jennifer pretending to be Mom at Kohl's was a nice touch

I′m telling you anything you don't already know

Or the police officers don't already know

Or Mom doesn′t already know

And yet you stay with her

Baal, take off the tape

But Rand, I love her

She stuck by me while I was serving my time

I have to stick by her, too, while I′m serving her time

It's kind of romantic if you think about it, Rand

A man can′t testify against his wife

And in my life

I've been afraid to sing, I′ve been afraid to sing

I didn't want to disrespect anyone so I′ve been afraid to sing

I can tell secrets too

I can tell secrets, too, about you

I can tell secrets to you, about you, that you don't even remember about you

But I'm above it

I don′t want to be abnormal, like you

There′s privacy for a reason, Rand, it's true

So let me go out here

Far away

You don′t want me anymore

OK I get it

Just let me be out here

Where I can make money for my wife, and my cats, and me

I promise I already renounced my inheritance

To my mother, that's what I did

I′m not going to accept any help

Even though my brother offered it to me in front of my mother

Taking has hurt this family enough

I'm finally willing to be independent

If you never want to see me again, let me know

I promise we won′t attach our selves to any new families or hurt anybody else

And I'll keep my wife on a leash

That's what you want, Rand, right

Just let me go in peace

You let the President go in peace

Isn′t this America for redemption

Isn′t this America for second and third and fourth chances

Can't somebody really screw up, and reasonable doubt open the gate

I don′t want a shocking gate, Rand, I want a gate out

I'll try to be normal like You

I′ll try to be normal, like You, Rand

But I like football

And normal things

And other things that You can't talk about when You sing chords

I just wanna go, Rand, seriously

I don′t wanna be caught up in Your Music

I don't want to be identified by You

I don't want to be named by You

I just want my privacy, please

Uh, you created the story of My Life

And Mine is a public life

So No

Baal, put the tape on him again

You′re kicked out of the Family name

When you say Shipon, you′re not

By my religious authority, as a Commandment follower

I've stricken your name from the Book of Life

And no one knows you

You′re shunned

Don't pretend to be one of My relations, ever

You are shunned

Call yourself Roderick Black

I think that would be a wonderful name for that face

Roderick Black, in honor of your friend

Whom I really liked

Roderick Black

Uh, Azazel

Yes

Do you have any of those branding items available

No, we stopped branding people during the Obama administration

Trump didn′t bring it back

No, sir

Captain, can we get on with this, the audience is getting bored

OK, alright, just

Roderick Black, you're banished from Me

But go build something great

Go build something great, Roderick Black

Don′t send me a postcard

Don't send me anything at all

Stare at your wall

Or get something with a nice view

The audience wants me to move on from you

The audience has told me so

And so I have to let you go

I have to let you go

And they don't make brands at WalMart

No sir, Walmart stopped making brands a long time ago

I can′t call him my slave

No sir, he′s not your slave

What about indentured servant

No sir

What if we were in England

No sir, but France would put his ass in some kind of penitentiary

Huh

So

We let him go

Are you sure

Fairly certain

But that's just from my spirit, right

Yes, just from your spirit

Dismissed

I′m closing the gate, sir, and I'm pushing him through

Do it

Well that feels like I just took a big dump

I′m feeling less back pain it's true

I didn′t realize losing 350 pounds could ever feel this good

Imagine being nailed to Wood

Ha ha ha

I wish you could

I wish you had an imagination

The nation wishes you Wood

I have your schizophrenia right here

I know how to face it without fear

I've never been diagnosed with schizophrenia

I don't know anyone in my Family who has

They′re just about the sanest people in that world, my Family

Using up mental illness to cover up trauma

And when you′re one of the leading authorities in New Jersey on trauma

You know what you have to do with it, you process it through art

Well

I'm now a victim advocate

Through no fault of my own

Through no fault of my own

I always thought those people were shrill

Until one tried to kill me by reputation

And then I realized I was already free

Victim advocacy and conflict resolution, here I come

Victim advocacy, I′m already trained

And I am trained on a new target

Trained on a new target

Helping the abused become overcomers

Well, that was hideous

God, oh my God, that lasted so long

Listen, if you stuck with that, God bless you

I don't know how you do it

That′s the last thing you're ever gonna hear from me

About um, a certain You-Know-Who

I′m done

And that's just for the podcast

I'm not putting that on a record or anything

I can′t anymore, you′re taking up too much real estate

So I'm letting you go

Goodnight, I hope you enjoyed my imagination, and um

I don′t know, I don't know anybody who wants to listen to this crap

Forgiven is forgiven, and done is done, and that′s it

I hope everybody who's been waiting for me to get to this point is proud of me

God bless you

God Bless the United States of America

Keep open lines of communication in your family always

Do not keep family secrets

Secrets are the poison of families

Any secret will poison a family forever, and uh

Unless you bare all the secrets, uh, you uh, you just get murder, you just get murder eventually

It just adds up to murder

Murder She Wrote

Goodnight everybody, and remember, please remember

Live In Your Own Truth