Ernie tosses and turns, trying to get to sleep, then says:

Oh, it's no use, I can't fall asleep. And you know why? It's 'cause I miss my old buddy Bert. He's not here. See, he went to this Pigeon Festival, you know with Bernice, the pigeon? You know, it might make me feel better if I could tell you about it, I hope you don't mind listening?

(singing)

When Bert's not here

The hours last forever

The toys aren't fun

And the cookies don't crunch

When Bert's not here

I don't feel so clever

And I never even feel like having lunch

When Bert's not here

The place is too quiet

The windows creak

Funny thoughts fill my head

When Bert's not here

No way to deny it

I feel I really should have stayed in bed

There's some peculiar things about him

What he likes and does can be a mystery

But to spend a rainy day without him

Makes me realize how much he means to me

When Bert's not here

The sky's not so sunny

My life seems blue

And from my point of view

When Bert's not here

The jokes aren't so funny

And I wonder what on earth I'm gonna do

When Bert's not here

To play with me and you

(spoken)

You know, I do feel better now. I guess sometimes it does help to tell somebody how you feel. So thanks for listening. I bet I can fall right asleep now. Oh, good night!