Hello, everybody

My name′s Evan D. Kraven

I am today's newest patientI′m glad I'm participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying

I′m a labelled assailant

They found a couple unknown bodies

Rotting under my basement

But I′m not here to make new friends

I'm not the one you wanna blabble to

A paranoid, schizophrenic, fuck you bitch attitude

I′ll slice you up with gratitude

Decap you like a Haitian

Face it, I'm the modern Jason

All you rappers I′m replacing

That's all

Hello, Miss Winney Whitney

Would you like to play a game with me?

Go out and throw ′round a Frisbee

I hope it isn't too windy

Maybe I'll bring along Cindy

We can all play in the shed

Show you what′s under my bed

As long as you keep it unsaid

′Cause if you tell somebody that I'm out collecting heads

They gonna tell the Feds

Then mama′s gonna make me take my meds

I fucking hate my meds

They make me drowsy plus a bit depressed

And when I get depressed

I lay with Beth while I caress her breast

But Beth's been dead for about a week now

Her body′s my antique now

My new spatula's her feet

I use her torso as a sheet now

I wasn′t always crazy 'til I met this bitch named Carolyn

A lot of you might actually know her

Her real name's, uh, heroine

Hello, everybody

My name′s Evan D. Kraven

I am today′s newest patient

I'm glad I′m participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying

I′m a labelled assailant

They found a couple unknown bodies

Rotting under my basement

But I'm not here to make new friends

I′m not the one you wanna blabble to

A paranoid, schizophrenic, fuck you bitch attitude

I'll slice you up with gratitude

Decap you like a Haitian

Face it, I'm the modern Jason

All you rappers I′m replacing, that′s all

All my teachers never liked me, so I shot up my professor

Told him watch his fucking mouth, that was the lesson of my lecture

But to each his own, I brought him home to keep him as my treasure

Kept his body in the closet, but his fingers in my dresser

Cooking on the stove, I'll turn your organs into plaster

Stir a little faster

To the children, I′m a bastard

I turn them into Casper

Watch me demonstrate disaster

Underground psychopath

These rappers call me master

All I wanna feed them is some beetles

Do you want some more?

Tell you to face the floor on all fours

While I fuck your whore

I can feel the residue come sweating out my pores

Watch me play with organs, but I never miss a chord

Hello, everybody

My name's Evan D. Kraven

I am today′s newest patient

I'm glad I′m participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying

I'm a labelled assailant

They found a couple unknown bodies

Rotting under my basement

But I′m not here to make new friends

I′m not the one you wanna blabble to

A paranoid, schizophrenic, fuck you bitch attitude

I'll slice you up with gratitude

Decap you like a Haitian

Face it, I′m the modern Jason

All you rappers I'm replacing

That′s all