Welcome to Ru-co labs

Better living through fake science

Welcome to Ru-co labs

The future is now and it′s freaking me out

Welcome to Ru-co labs

They always say consult your doctor before taking a new medicine

But what the hell do they know

Tell it like it is girl

What we got in stock?

We got tablets, drops, patches, and shots.

We got liquids that can take you from whatever you got.

Have a sip,

Have a slurper, if you can still swallow

A hand full of promises even though they're hollow

Here at Ru-co labs we′ve worked so hard

To make these drugs help you with your strife

So check out these pills we're tucking

Cause honey they're here to give you life

Welcome to Ru-co labs YAHH!

O M G

What? what′s wrong?

Boys don′t make passes at queens with flat asses

What can I do about it?

Say goodbye padding and hello to badonkadonk

And it makes yo ass get a lot humps

It comes in a patch

Snuffed down by your snatch

If it's a good batch

Then it starts to hatch

Badonkadonk

Watch out Joe, watch out Nicky, watch out Kandy K

′Cause we about to break the internet every other day

Got a new power bottom and it's on display,

It′s got its own zip code by the way 9-0-2-1

OHHHH that's a big old ass

My backside looks like a mountain pass

Badonkadonks now available on the go,

In a perky powder that looks a lot like snow.

Put it in your salad or a cold ice tea

Don′t snort it up your nose this ain't 1983

Badonkadonks

Hey sandy haven't seen you at the club lately

Yeah well,

I spent most of my summer working on my drag race audition

That′s not what I heard,

I heard you′ve been poppin out at parties

You don't mean? SANDY NO!

Used to rule the clubs but now I′m stuck at home,

Suffering from a case of restless tuck syndrome.

'Cause when I see a stud in a tuck that′s cropped,

I can't get in my drag cause my tuck gets popped!

But now there′s a solution made by Ru-co Inc.

A handy little pill that makes your junk shrink

So easy once a month just open up your say aww

When life gets to hard just take some flaccida

(Flaccida, flaccida)

Flaccida saved my life and now I love it

Oodles, even around the pit crew I feel nothing noodles

(Flaccida)

Now illegal in 48 states

Here's the tee about that old queen on Twitter

You know that hateful bitch that's always so bitter

She says that Gaga stole it all from Madonna

What′s next adopting kids from Botswana

She wears caftans and moo moos

Just like a idol

What she have in her gym bag?

Viagra and Midol

Kids today are down hill post Mariah,

And who′s that new girl names Zendaya?

Do you suffer from bitter old queen syndrome?

Ru-co labs has a spray for that

Trollvada spray a spritz a dab under your old under thigh

And soon you'll be taking snapchats of your avocado toast

For the love of Kathleen Turner what is happening!?

HUHH oh my God, I′m obsessed with Miley's new single

What′s the new dating app I'm ready to mingle

I′m gender fluid and not into labels

Cutting boards and getting rid of cable

I don't just sit at dinner tables anymore,

I flip em.

Thanks conflama

(That bitch is crazy)

I haven't had a sip of wine in three years, why?

Because now I throw it in people′s faces!

Thanks conflama

Conflama, it′s conflict plus drama

You know what that equals right? Dolla signs

It's what every reality Stars got

Conflama I put two teaspoons in my coffee

Every morning, good to the last death drop

Conflama, find a way to pull up tonight.

Conflama

Bitch I′m from Chicago

Conflama, won't go home till we start a fight,

Conflama

This ain′t Rupaul's best friends race

Go back to party city where you belong

Bitch! The song is over

Don′t you tell me when the song is over!

Conflama, it's working!

What did tinderella say when she got to the ball?

Oh dear tinderella, why are you gaging so?

What could I do

I bit off more than I could chew

It's my great defect, I have terminal gag reflex

Feeling stressed, choked a distant

Gag reflex is so persistent

Ru-co labs has a potion

You can drink up any ocean!

Now there′s swalloweve

(Lalalalalalalala)

Swalloweve

(Lalalalalalalala)

Swalloweve is for princesses 21 and older

And does not prevent the spread of STIs

Side effects include increased bitchyness

An unquenchable thirst

Lower credit scores, and total austigmization

Thanks to swalloweve I′ll be ready whenever my prince comes

(Swalloweve)

Did you see her shoes?

Yass queen

Qren't they so tacky?

Yass queen

Can you stop saying that?

Yass qwen

I don′t think you can?

Bitch what do you mean?

Some queens are so annoying

They're voices are really cloying

Repeating the same words

Falling out they′re lips like turds

Oh girl you got Drag mouth, it's a bit problemary

You need to read a book like right now

And up your vocabulary

But now there′s a fix when you come and go south

All you gotta do is put this caulk in your mouth

Caulk, as in C-A-U-L-K

Get your mind out of the gutter

Anyone can use it including straights, bis, and gays.

It stops your loose lips from shouting drag clichés

Side effects include but are not limited to YASSS QWEN!

Damn now I got it.

God God Get a Grip Gurl, Okurrrrr

There's a question, burns deep in my soul.

One that you, can only control

From your lips, to gods ear,

There's an answer we all need to hear

Tell me is there, an anal option

What′s right for others ain′t right for me

What I'm asking is biology,

Rupaul is there

An anal option, for me

(For me, for me, for me, for me, me too)

Five out of four doctors don′t recommend Ru-co labs

So kids just don't drugs

Just love yourself so you can love somebody else

Can I get an amen?

Amen