I ran into my pastor at a gay bar

Let me tell you, he looked so bizarre

In fishnets instead of a suit

I ran into my dad′s girlfriend named Pam

At a strip club with fives jammed

In every place you can imagine

All these things keep happening to me

And every time it's all so confusing

I just want to be left alone

Please don′t make me leave my home

Small towns don't forgive

I ran into my grandma at a sex store

I always thought she was such a bore

No wonder she's always so tired

I ran into an old one night stand

Asked if I had any big plans

I′m whipping and gagging your mom

All these things keep happening to me

And every time it′s all so confusing

I just want to be left alone

Please don't make me leave my home

Small towns don′t forgive