Well when I was kid I′d take a trip

Every summer, down to Mississippi

To visit my granny in her ante bellum worldI'd run barefooted all day long

Climbing trees free as a song

One day I happened catch myself a squirrel

Well I stuffed him down in an old shoebox

Punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came

I snuck him into church

I was sittin′ way back in the very last pew

Showin' him to my good buddy Hugh

When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk!

Well what happened next is hard to tell

Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell

But the fact that something was among us was plain to see

As the choir sang "I Surrender All"

Squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls

Harv leaped to his feet and said

"Somethin′s got a hold on me! Yeow!"

The day the squirrel went berserk

In the First Self-Righteous Church

In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)

It was a fight for survival

That broke out in revival

They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah! (Hallelujah)

Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin′ and screamin'

Some thought he had religion

Others thought he had a demon

And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms

He fell to his knees to plead and beg

And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg

Unobserved, to the other side of the room

All the way down to the amen pew

Where sat Sister Bertha better-than-you

Who′d been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee

But you should′ve seen the look in her eyes

When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs

She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me"

As the squirrel made laps inside her dress

She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame

She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention

Was when she talked about her love life

And then she started naming names!

The day the squirrel went berserk

In the First Self-Righteous Church

In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)

It was a fight for survival

That broke out in revival

They were jumpin' pews and shouting Hallelujah! (Hallelujah)

Well seven deacons and then the pastor got saved

And twenty-five thousands dollars was raised

And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot, hehe

And even without an invitation

There were at least five hundred rededications

And we all got re-baptized whether we needed it or not

Now you′ve heard the Bible stories I guess

Of how He parted the waters for Moses to pass

All the miracles God has brought to this ol' world

But the one I'll remember to my dyin′ day

Is how he put that church back on the narrow way

With a half-crazed Mississippi squirrel

The day the squirrel went berserk

In the First Self-Righteous Church

In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)

It was a fight for survival

That broke out in revival

They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah! (Halelujah)

The day the squirrel went berserk

In the First Self-Righteous Church

In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)

It was a fight for survival

That broke out in revival

They were jumpin...