A B C D E F G H I gotta' gal wears her toenails long.

Drives a red Barracuda, singin' meat packer songs

And she ain't from Kalamazoo.

A B C D E F G H I gotta' friend lived in a Mercedes-Benz.

Then a 55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends/

And the plates say Kalamazoo.

He had a steady job and watched what he spent.

He'd say I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent.

I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent

and buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo.

I knew a guy that mangled his hand,

and he went from pipe fittin' to a hot dog stand.

They say last year he cleared fifty grand

selling dogs round Kalamazoo.

She turned to the world with a bastard child.

Said, "I just can't handle him he's too damn wild".

But the years and the liquor have made him mild.

And he lays around in Kalamazoo.