The first time I saw the Descendents,

They were the fastest band I'd ever seen.

No one in the crowd really cared for them,

We were waiting for the Alley Cats to play.

After a couple months I heard Kabuki Girl,

On Rodney on the Roq late Sunday night.

That was enough, for me I hopped the bus,

To licorice pizza and bought my all time favorite record.

The next time I went to the whiskey,

It was DOA with millions of Dead Cops.

The latter band played faster than I could believe,

But the Songs sounded the same and kinda sucked.

'Cept John Wayne was a nazi,

And Joey Shithead was a drunk.

Then John Macias beat some hippie to a pulp,

Cuz Having long hair was a mistake.

The third time I went to the hospital,

I needed 13 stitches in my head.

I managed to catch about 6 songs of Ill Repute,

Then some suicidal threw me into a post.

My girlfriend started to cry cuz we had to leave,

Before DRI played 50 lousy songs.

My blood stained shirt smelled of clove cigarettes,

But it sure looked pretty cool after a wash.