Clap your hands and catch a fly

Bite an apple, shut your eyes

Moisturize, your skin is dryGhosts are ringing off the bell

Tell your friends you′re doing well

Call a doctor 'bout your health

And I think you deserve an Oscar

For pretending nothing′s wrong

Every day there's something else

But you carry yourself

Like the greatest actor

Acting like the world is not

Breaking up before your eyes

You deserve a prize

Ooh

Take a supplement for sun

Try and sleep with everyone

Know you're doing nothing wrong

Kiss the season on the mouth

Go for walks and hug a clown

All the funny ones are down

And I think you deserve an Oscar

For pretending nothing′s wrong

Every day there′s something else

But you carry yourself

Like the greatest actor

Acting like the world is not

Breaking up before your eyes

You deserve a prize

Watch a war under the sheets

Get a coffee down the street

Plastic bags in harmony

Everybody's incomplete

And who′s the best at saving face?

Who's the toughest in the race?

Forget the Pope, you have the grace

You′re my nomination

And you deserve an Oscar

For pretending nothing's wrong

Every day, it bursts the seams

But you put on your jeans

Like the greatest actor

Acting like the world is not

Breaking up and slowly dying

You deserve a prize