(Calling all cars, calling all cars)

(Be on the lookout for a tall, light-skinned brother with dimples)

(Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers)(Last seen on Farmers Boulevard headed east)

(Alias LL Cool J, he′s bad)

Aaaahhhhhhhhhh

No rapper can rap quite like I can

I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand

Not the last Mafioso, I′m a MC cop

Make you say, "Go LL and do the wop"

If you think you can out write me, yeah boy, I bet

'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet

Trendsetter, I′m better, my rhymes are good

I got a gold nameplate that says, " I wish you would"

And when battle begins, then I gotta join in and

Before my rhyme is over, you know I′ma win

Cool J has arrived, so you better make way

Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play!

Slaughter competition, that′s my hobby and job

I don't wear a disguise, because I don′t owe the mob

Got a pinpoint rap, that makes you feel trapped

So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped

I'm bad

(Cool J)

(Cool J, yeah)

(Cool J)

(C-C-C-C-Cool J-J)

(Cool J)

(C-C-C-C-C-C-Cool J-J-J-J-J)

I′m like Tyson, icin' I'm a soldier at war

I′m makin′ sure you don't try to battle me no more

Got concrete rhymes, been rappin′ for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin′, I'm bein′ sincere

MC's can't win, I make ′em rust like tin

They call me Jaws, my hat is like a shark′s fin

Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax

Some brothers think he′s making records

Now he must have relaxed

I couldn't, shouldn′t, and it'll stay that way

The best rapper you′ve heard, is LL Cool J

Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done

Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one

And can happen on time, never standin′ on line

You wanna try me? First, you better learn how to rhyme

I′m the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme

And I'm notorious, I′ll crush you like a jelly bean

I'm bad

(Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his crew)

(Bobcat, E Love, and Cut Creator)

(They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open)

(Use extreme caution)

I eliminate punks, cut ′em up in chunks

You were souped, you heard me, and your ego shrunk

I'm devastating, I′m so good it's a shame

'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane

I′m as strong as a bull, of course you know I have pull

I enjoy what I′m doing, plus I'm paid in full

Not Buckaroo Bonsai, but busted out as I

Say the kinda rhymes that make MC′s wish that I'd die

Never retire, or put my mic on the shelf

The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself

Not bitter or mad, just provin′ I'm bad

You want a hit? Give me a hour, plus a pen and a pad

MC′s retreat, 'cause they know I can beat 'em

And eat ′em in a battle, and the ref won′t cheat 'em

I′m the best, takin' out all rookies

So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies

I′m bad

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(Cool J)

(Cool J-J-J)

(Cool J-J-J)

(C-Cool)

Never ever, no never

Never wearin' no Levi′s, battle me, why try

I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy bye-bye

Sparrin' MC′s, and I′ma never get whipped

When I retire, I'll get worshipped like a old battleship

LL, I′m bad, other rappers know

When I enter the set, they say, "Yo, yo. There he go!"

My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge

Not a puncher or a hunter from a racoon lodge

The original Todd, teachin′ how to be hard

Take the skin off a snake, and split a pea from a pod

You're a novice, I′m noble, and I dissect with my tongue

Not Atilla the Hun, but no, I'm Threwler his son

My vocal's exact, like rack and pinion in a Jag

You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag

No good scavenger, catfish, vulture

My tongue′s a chisel in this competition sculpture

I′m bad

(Think I'm gonna need backup)

(Think I′m gonna need backup)

(What you need that for?)

(Yo, this is LL Cool J)

(And you'll never catch me, so don′t even try it)

(I'm too bad for ya, understand?)

Aaaaaahhhh

I′m bad