Gary and Melissa loved to make love

Loved to make love

Loved to make love

Over and over and over again

For the first few weeks of their relationship,

They made love four or five times a night

They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion,

They bought sex books:

The Joy of Sex,

The Sensuous Couple

The Joy of Sex Part Two,

The Kama Sutra,

Even Yet Still More Joy of Sex

Popular Mechanics,

Betty Crocker

Anything

They tried as many positions as they were capable of

Physically

Physically

Physically

They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion,

They bought sex toys:

Ben Wah Balls,

French Ticklers

Nipple clamps,

Cock Rings

Whips and Chains and Bondage gear

Bowling Balls,

Dildos,

Vibrators

Watermelons

Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty

Anything

They were really turned on for a while

They set up a video camera and taped themselves having sex

Then they watched it on the VCR while having more sex

Then, to heighten their passion,

Gary taped Melissa having sex with some of his friends

And Melissa taped Gary having sex with some of her friends

Then they watched it on the VCR while having more sex

They were really turned on

As the years went by,

Gary and Melissa became fine upstanding members of their community

Although they never married,

Their relationship outlasted all the marriages on their block

And they never fought,

Except to heighten their passion

They had made an agreement that when one of them died,

The other would continue to live with and make love to the corpse,

But as luck would have it,

They were both killed in a freak accident

And died at the exact same moment, holding hands