It′s February 2016

I'm ′bout to open for Lady Leshurr at Gramercy Theater

Was booked by Christian, and he picked meAnd if you asked me then, I never guessed he would diss me

Before we talk about the show, I should tell you how I know Christian

I met him briefly through Matty

Know Matty through Matthew Henderson

Me and Hendoe go back, because he used to send me linen

Grew closer more than the business, but hold up, let me begin this shit

I'm 'bout to hit the stage, and I got Nick for my DJ

But really he don′t DJ, he just play stop replay

But fuck it, that′s my brother

Held it down like no one other

Gave 'em word to do his verse when he emerged the song cut

Fuck

Still rocked the whole crowd, we tour down the stage

Hopped off the tenth cloud and back on the chase

Now months later, me and Christian getting shaky

He telling me to stall, but I′m tryna drop Macy's

He said that it could go if I just change a couple things

But in spite of the game

I dropped it anyway

Check my phone, got mail today

Brad and Josh from APA, a booking agency

They noticed me and wanna conversate

So I took the call, loved it all, brought it back to Christian

He said that they won′t get me, so I might as well forget them

And Matty told me, "Do it", but he still in tune with Christian

And Hendoe said he with it, "Only do it if you feel it"

Now they constantly hitting me about the moves that I should make

All the while, I'm losing focus, ′cause I'm working on the tape

So I shut it all down, I won't take a call now

Once I′m done with all these songs, I guess we′ll see who's still round

I dropped the tape, and two days later, I got word from Brad

He said he loved it, we should link to me, that doesn′t sound bad

4:30 at Ruth's Chris, we ordered barbeque shrimp

Sharing through conversations ′bout our problem as kids

And even Christian came up, and maybe this was made up

But I was told that Christian said he'll make me do what he wants

From that moment, he was a dub

I got no time if you ain′t acting right

Shook with Brad and Josh, and now I'm rolling with the Acolytes

A month prior, got a DM on the 'gram

He said his name is Scott, he tours with Portugal. The Man

Also managed the stage when I opened for Lady Leshurr

I did that show through the motion and turned him to a believer

Crazy

He said they′re playing the Bowery next month

And "You do what you want, but I think you should open up"

And I didn′t know who they were

Like I never heard a song, but I thought 'bout potential fans

So of course, I′m down to perform

A week before the tape, damn, this works out great

No word from Nick, but I got X to do the play stop play

I'm asking Scott at soundcheck, how many songs do we got

He told me, "You just do your thing know, you gon′ fuck up the spot"

And, yeah, we did it

Back on the tenth cloud where I'm living

Getting praise from the band, this was never part of my vision

I say, "Thank you" to Scott

They killed the set that I watched

Then me and X hop on the four, we heading back to the block

′Bout a week after the tape dropped, on call with Brad and Josh

Conversing on where we take this and problems that we could dodge

And I briefly mentioned opening for Portugal. The Man

Got a double take from Josh

"Wait, Portugal. The Man?"

I fucking love those guys, and you ain't tell us homie why

I know their booking agent

We could help you build upon the vibe

But I shrugged it off

'Cause it was nothing lost

But I guess none of this happens if they ain′t get involved

I thank ′em for it

Email from Brad and Josh, they asking about my availablity

Ain't expect a tour, this is nothing more than some serendipitee

But I′m still moving cautious

We ain't exempt from losses

Email from Brad and Josh, "Congrats dog, we got an offer"

Oh, shit, it′s really happening

I hit up Hendoe, this the shit we was really imagining

Let him plan the whole trip, 'cause he really was passionate

Plus, my dollars ain′t shit, so he really was backing it

Since the quote was looking nice, we decided to buy some lights

Tryna give the folks a show, not just babbling on the mic

And it is a rock show, let's bring Derek up on the road

He's a drummer from Matt′s city, he′s with it that's a go

I hit my man J, hart see if he down to turn tables

He said he′s with it long as I don't have to play stop play you

Next, I hit X to get behind the lens was his major, this is major

So, of course, he said "Yes"

Now the lights become a plight if we don′t got someone to work it

Matt told me Evan's with it, Hendoe told me that he′s worth it

Last, my dog, Kaveh, that's the BeenDope merchant

At the show, you gotta see him for a BeenDope purchase

Yeah

We got the team together, everything seems together

We worked the budget out, so everybody eats together

Not to mention, all the merch projections, twenty nine cities

Thirty k' is what we expected

Started tour life, wonder what is tour like

If your crew does not become your fam, then you ain′t tour right

Six up in the telly, those were sleeping on the floor night

Can′t afford the telly, those sleeping in the Ford nights

So worth it

And since we opened, didn't always draw a crowd

Stateline was twenty people, other nights was two thou′

No matter the situation, gave it everything I got

'Member my mic cut at the Bahia, I yelled up in the spot

Wild times, that was the night that Derek almost died

Sick as shit, he hit the stage and somehow came alive

Never told him, but I admire him for it

Most would abort with all of the

Tribulations and the trials of us touring

Locked the keys in the van

No AC in the van

And it died overnight, we need a leap for the van

All of this for thirty mins and v with the band

Killed the set at every show, and now they tweet in demand

Now we driving back from Texas San Antonio, the last show

Two days in the ford, so I′m sore, but I'm backing home

And if you asking if I′d do it again

The answer's yes, but I just hate how it ends

Back to basics

Back in stations

They don't know I′m back from greatness

Will I make it headline stages

Maybe I′m just backup blazing

Back to hoping

Back and broken

Back and got no racks to show 'em

Back, I hate it

Back, I′m chasing

Back, and I can't black, I aided

Uh

I think I fucked up

How I end up broke, I was just twenty thousand bucks up?

How I stay afloat if I say no to work and won′t budge?

How I tell my bros that all them dollars promised won't come?

Can′t be this stupid

Candidly foolish

Hope we still good, but know relationships can be in ruins

If I was X, I'd probably hate me

Them dollars sounded like safety

Gone a month and got nothing

Ay, what I'm s′pose to tell this lady, bro?

Really?

And I sit here feeling guilty

Conversations with my mirror said he know one day, he′ll kill me

But I'm running, and I′m back on edge

"Fuck your feelings", words from Oliver

We back on bread

Now I got dollars, they walk for me

I got dollars, they talk for me

I got dollars, they calling me

I got dollars they offing me

Oftenly offer me off the leash to alter to it all for me

I get benji, but they bend me

Never thought what it's costing me

Losing peace of mind, and lately, since I got it, give a piece of mine

If roles were switched, I would get nothing but a peace, I′m fine

I'm still afloat, but I got fire all around me

Where the fuck I′m s'pose to go when all this fire tryna drown me?

Got a new email Brad, just told me that he's leaving

Josh just hit me said he got me

Why the fuck did I believe him?

Did that show in Albuquerque, got some bread for APA

I hit Josh about the payment, he suddenly MIA

Matt just told me that he leaving

How the fuck my brother gone?

I don′t really know the reason, I just know them niggas wrong

Money come and go, I′m broke again

Back to losing hope again

Death been tryna save me, so I'm reaching for the rope again

I can′t reach