Hey, yep, look it′s me again mate.

I just wanted to say look I'm sorry for not coming to the club.

I know you guys think it′s the bees knees.It's the—it's the surf ′n′ turf of any pub menu.

It's the. the Dr Harry of your holidays, but—yeah, well look,

Can you—can you just give me a call

When you′re. when you're out, yeah?

I ain′t going out 'less I have to

Kind of like living life in a vacuum

I don′t mean like space and stuff

I mean everybody looking at me saying I suck (you suck!)

Nope, I'm livin' in a paradise

Very nice, packin′ one of these them I′m paralysed

When insanity reigns outside of these four walls of terror

Forget a plan to leave, my phone beepin' like a fuckin′ beacon

"Hey what you doin' on the weekend?"

Playin′ with my dick and peekin' outside of my venetian′s

Like BDP did by all means necessary

There's a party at my place, nobody's invited

Keep ringing the door and I keep hidin′

Buy my own island and nobody′s allowed inside it

For real

Mate, can you just give me a call when you're done?

You think I′m kinda crazy

I think you mad as well

You wouldn't understand

A thing I′m thinking, I can tell

Take a quick look inside of my world

And see wherever it takes me

If you still think I'm crazy

I think you mad as hell

Oh yeah. Hey mate it′s me again.

Hey look, I was just thinking,

I dunno maybe we could go for a jump at the jetty dude.

I think you -

Let's go get a couple of pieces of flake

And some minimum chips. Let's just hang ey

To all my people that be giving it up

In the bathroom tryna divvy it up

You′d better be careful when messin′ with them serious drugs

If they can turn Shane Warne into a Hilary Duff

I said "fuck no!", you ain't even need to get fancy

But coughin′ in my face like I'm burying family

It′s too close!, man I feel like Manute Bol

Jumping through a loophole, I gotta leave it

While I'm still breathin′, book in a holiday

Nut stains so old they lookin' like Hollandaise

Running through my red carpet like Bolognese spaghetti

I just wanna celebrate and bust my confetti

'Till I′m ready for that big sleep

Drinking piss in a club full of shit like they pig cheeks

See me walking out with nothing more to talk about

You all about hanging out like Mercede Corby mouth

Cause to be honest that whole big night thing, it can go and get fuc—

You think I′m kinda crazy

I think you mad as well

You wouldn't understand

A thing I′m thinking, I can tell

Take a quick look inside of my world

And see wherever it takes me

If you still think I'm crazy

I think you mad as hell

Ey mate. Hey, yeah awesome. Ey, yeah, let′s go dancing mate.

Let's do the running man, the robot. Fuck, get out of there bro.

Give me a call

Got that Netflix Original, chilling like Walt Disney

By myself single as the malt in my whiskey

Drink it ′till I'm mad as hell

These days sex shops only place that I bag a girl

I'm pathetic, but I don′t need your empathy

Blowing up my spot like the doll was right next to me

Shit, did you hear what she said to me?

I′mma need a puncture repair kit and Red Bull for energy

Thirty-three years old, turned into a fucking hermit crab

Only time I leave the house, the drive to work and back

Do nothing on my two days off

Just killing boars in a forest then ruining socks

Now I know that I shouldn't stroke my ego man

But it feels so good with Dorito hands

′Till the shame comes when I'm by myself

So I guess that I′m mad as hell

Hey bro. It's me, again.

You think I′m pathetic don't ya?

Bit of a nerd, dickhead, drongo.

Well you're wrong bro.

I′m fuckin′ pizza pockets mate

You think I'm kinda crazy

I think you mad as well

You wouldn′t understand

A thing I'm thinking, I can tell

Take a quick look inside of my world

And see wherever it takes me

If you still think I′m crazy

I think you mad as hell

You think I'm kinda crazy

I think you mad as well

You wouldn′t understand

A thing I'm thinking, I can tell

Take a quick look inside of my world

And see wherever it takes me

If you still think I'm crazy

I think you mad as hell

I think you mad as hell

I think you mad as hell

It′s me again.

Look, sorry about before.

I—If you′re out, I just wanna say Law & Order's just finished and

I′ll be fucked if I know what I'm doing for the rest of the night