Congress shall not make no Law

Mr. Frank Zappa

Mr. Zappa, thank you very much for being with us, please proceed

Okay, my name is Frank Zappa

This is my attorney, Larry Stein from Los Angeles

Can you hear me?

Could you- if you could speak very directly and clearly into the microphone, I would appreciate it

Okay, my name is Frank Zappa

This is my attorney Larry Stein

The statement that I prepared, that I sent you 100 copies of, is five pages long

So I have shortened it down and I′m going to read a condensed version of it

Certain things have happened

I have been listening to the event in the other room

And have heard some conflicting reports as to whether or not

People in this committee want legislation

I understand that Mr. Hollings does, from his comments

Is that correct?

I think you better concentrate on your testimony

Rather than asking questions to the committee, Mr. Zappa

The reason I need to ask it

Because if- I have to change something in my testimony

If there is not a clearcut version of whether or not legislation is what is being discussed here

Do the best you can

Because I don't think anybody here can characterize Mr. Hollings, Senator Hollings′ position

Okay, I will carry on with the issue, then

First thing I-

Mr. Chairman, I might help him out just a little bit

I might make a statement (yes)

This is one Senator that might be interested in legislation and/or regulation to some extent

Recognizing the problems with free right of expression and my previously expressed views

That I don't believe I should be telling other people what they have to listen to

But I really believe that the suggestion made by the original panel was some kind of an arrangement

For voluntarily policing this in the music industry as the correct way to go

So, if it'll help you out in your testimony, I might join Senator Hollings and, or others

In some kind of legislation and/or regulation, unless the free enterprise system

Both the producers and you as the performers, see fit to clean up your act (okay, thank you)... Voluntary

Okay, that′s hardly voluntary

The first thing I would like to do, because I know there is some foreign press involved here

And they might not understand what the issue is about

One of the things the issue is about is the First Amendment to the Constitution

And it is short and I would like to read it so they will understand

It says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

Or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

Or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press

Or the right of the people

Peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances"

That′s for reference

These are my personal observations and opinions

I speak on behalf of no group or professional organization

The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails to deliver any real benefits to children

Infringes the civil liberties of people who are not children

And promises to keep the courts busy for years

Dealing with the interpretational and enforcemental problems inherent in the proposal's design

It′s my understanding that in law

First Amendment issues are decided with a preference for the least restrictive alternative

In this context, the PMRC demands are the equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation

No one has forced Mrs. Baker or Mrs. Gore to bring Prince or Sheena Easton into their homes

Thanks to the Constitution, they are free to buy other forms of music for their children

Apparently, they insist on purchasing the works of contemporary recording artists

In order to support a personal illusion of aerobic sophistication

Ladies, please be advised

The $8. 98 purchase price does not entitle you to a kiss on the foot from the composer

Or performer in exchange for a spin on the family Victrola

Taken as a whole

The complete list of PMRC demands

Reads like an instruction manual for some sinister kind of toilet training program

To house-break all composers and performers because of the lyrics of a few

Ladies, how dare you?

The ladies' shame must be shared by the bosses at the major labels who, through the RIAA

Chose to bargain away the rights of composers, performers, and retailers

In order to pass H. R. 2911, The Blank Tape Tax

A private tax levied by an industry on consumers for the benefit of a select group within that industry

Is this a consumer issue? You bet it is

The major record labels need to have H. R. 2911 whiz through a few committees

Before anybody smells a rat

One of them is chaired by Senator Thurmond

Is it a coincidence that Mrs. Thurmond is affiliated with the PMRC?

I can′t say she's a member, because the PMRC has no members

Their secretary told me on the phone last Friday that the PMRC has no members, only founders

I asked how many other D. C. Wives are nonmembers of an organization that raises money by mail

Has a tax-exempt status

And seems intent on running the Constitution of the United States through the family paper-shredder

I asked her if it was a cult

Finally, she said she couldn′t give me an answer and that she had to call their lawyer

While the wife of the Secretary of the Treasury recites, "Gonna drive my love inside you"

And Senator Gore's wife talks about "bondage" and "oral sex at gunpoint" on the CBS Evening News

People in high places work on a tax bill that is so ridiculous

The only way to sneak it through is to keep the public's mind on something else, Porn Rock

Is the basic issue morality? Is it mental health? Is it an issue at all?

The PMRC has created a lot of confusion with improper comparisons between song lyrics

Videos, record packaging, radio broadcasting, and live performances

These are all different mediums

And the people who work in them

Have the right to conduct their business without trade-restraining legislation

Whipped up like an instant pudding by "The wives of Big Brother"

Is it proper that the husband of a PMRC nonmember-founder-person sits on any committee

Considering business pertaining to the blank tape tax or his wife′s lobbying organization?

Can any committee thus constituted find facts in a fair and unbiased manner?

This committee has three that we know about

Senator Danforth, Senator Packwood, and Senator Gore

For some reason, they seem to feel there is no conflict of interest involved

Children in the vulnerable age bracket have a natural love for music

If as a parent you believe they should be exposed to something more uplifting than "Sugar Walls"

Support music appreciation programs in schools

Why haven′t you considered your child's need for consumer information?

Music appreciation costs very little compared to sports expenditures

Your children have a right to know that something besides pop music exists

It is unfortunate that the PMRC would rather dispense

Governmentally sanitized heavy metal music than something more uplifting

Is this an indication of PMRC′s personal taste

Or just another manifestation of the low priority

This administration has placed on education for the arts in America?

The answer, of course, is neither

You can't distract people from thinking about an unfair tax by talking about music appreciation

For that you need sex, and lots of it

The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise

Opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs

Based on things certain Christians don′t like

What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow "J"

On all material written or performed by Jews

In order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?

Record ratings are frequently compared to film ratings

Apart from the quantitative difference, there is another that is more important

People who act in films are hired to pretend

No matter how the film is rated, it won't hurt them personally

Since many musicians write and perform their own material and stand by it as their art

Whether you like it or not

An imposed rating will stigmatize them as individuals

How long before composers and performers

Are told to wear a festive little PMRC arm band with their scarlet letter on it?

Bad facts make bad law

And people who write bad laws are in my opinion

More dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality

Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought

And the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC

And the major labels consummate this nasty bargain

Are we expected to give up Article 1

So the big guys can collect an extra dollar on every blank tape

And 10 to 25 percent on tape recorders?

What is going on here? Do we get to vote on this tax?

I think that this whole matter has gotten completely blown out of proportion

And I agree with Senator Exon that there is a very dubious reason for having this event

And I also agree with Senator Exon that you shouldn′t be wasting time on stuff like this

Because from the beginning I have sensed that it is somebody's hobby project

Now, I've done a number of interviews on television and people keep saying

"Can′t you take a few steps in their direction, can′t you sympathize, can't you empathize?"

I do more than that at this point

I′ve got an idea for a way to stop all this stuff

And a way to give parents what they really want

Which is information, accurate information as to what is inside the album

Without providing a stigma for the musicians who have played on the album

Or the people who sing it or the people who wrote it

And I think that if you listen carefully to this idea

That it might just get by all of the constitutional problems and everything else

As far as I am concerned

I have no objection to having all of the lyrics placed on the album routinely, all the time

But there is a little problem

Record companies do not own the right automatically to take these lyrics

Because they're owned by publishing companies

So, just as all the rest of the PMRC proposals would cost money, this would cost money too

Because the record companies would need, they shouldn′t be forced to bear the cost

The extra expenditure to the publisher, to print those lyrics

If you consider that the public needs to be warned about the contents of the records

What better way than to let them see exactly what the songs say?

That way you don't have to put any kind of subjective rating on the record

You don′t have to call it R, X, D/A, anything

You can read it for yourself

But in order for it to work properly, the lyrics should be on a uniform kind of a sheet

Maybe even the Government could print those sheets

Maybe it should even be paid for by the Government

If the Government is interested in making sure

That people have consumer information in this regard

And you also have to realize that if a person buys the record and takes it out of the store

Once it is out of the store you can't return it if you read the lyrics at home

And decide that little Johnny is not supposed to have it

I think that that should at least be considered

And the idea of imposing these ratings on live concerts

On the albums, asking record companies to reevaluate or drop

Or violate contracts that they already have with artists should be thrown out

That's it all, that′s what I have to say

Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa

You understand that the previous witnesses were not asking for legislation

And I don′t know, I can't speak for Senator Hollings

But I think the prevailing view here is that nobody is asking for legislation

The question is just focusing on what a lot of people perceive to be a problem

And you have indicated that you at least understand that there is another point of view

Yeah, I do understand

But there are people that think that parents should have some knowledge

Of what goes into their home

All along my objection has been with the tactics used by these people

In order to achieve the goal

I just think the tactics have been really bad, and the whole premise of their proposal

They were badly advised in terms of record business law

They were badly advised in terms of practicality

Or they would have known that certain things don′t work mechanically with what they suggest

Senator Gore

Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman

I found your statement very interesting and

Let me say although I disagree with some of the statements that you make

And have made on other occasions

I have been a fan of your music, believe it or not, and I respect you as a true original

And a tremendously talented musician

Your suggestion on printing the lyrics on the album is a very interesting one

Because the PMRC at one point said they would propose either a rating and/or warning

Or printing all the lyrics on the album and

The record companies came back and said that they didn't want to do that

But I think an awful lot of people agree with your suggestion

That one easy way to solve this problem for parents would be to put the actual words there

So that parents could see them

In fact, the National Association of Broadcasters

Made exactly the same request of the record companies

So I think your suggestion is an intriguing one

And might really be a solution for the problem

But the problem, well, you just have to understand that it does cost money

Because you can′t expect publishers to automatically give up that right

Which is a money earning right for them

Somebody is going to have to reimburse the publishers

The record industry is going to

Without trying to mess up the album jacket art

And impose that lyrics only be printed on the back

It should be a sheet of paper that is slipped inside the shrink-wrap

That when you take it out you can still have a complete album package

So there is going to be some extra cost for printing it

But as long as people realize that for this kind of consumer safety

You're gonna spend some money

And as long as you can find a way to pay for it

I think that would be the best way to let people know

Well, you know, I do not disagree with that at all

And the separate sheet would also solve the problem with the cassettes as well

Because you do not have the space for words on the cassette packs

Well, there would have to be a little accordion-fold in there

Yeah. Something like that. And-

Or just fold it

But, but a very large percentage of the albums that are sold are sold in cassette form

I′ve listened to you a number of times on this issue

And I guess the question that I really want to get from you is

Or the statement that I want to get from you

Is whether or not you feel that the concern is legitimate

Because, occasionally you feel very strongly about your position, and I understand that

Very articulate and forceful

But occasionally you give the impression

That you think parents are just silly to be concerned at all

That's not an accurate impression

Well, please clarify it, then

First of all, I think it is the parents' concern, it is not the Government′s concern

And they agree with you on that

Well, that doesn′t come across in the way they have been speaking

The whole drift that I have gotten

Based upon the media blitz that has attended the PMRC and its rise to infamy

Is that they have a special plan, and it has smelled like legislation up until now

There are too many things that look like hidden agendas involved with this and I am a parent

I have got four children, two of them are here

I want them to grow up in a country where they can think what they want to think

Be what they want to be, and not what somebody's wife

Or somebody in Government makes them be

I don′t wanna have that and I don't think you do either

Okay, but now you′re back on the-, you're back on the other issue

Let me just say briefly on that that they say repeatedly

No legislation, no regulation, no Government action

It certainly sounded pretty clear to me

And as far as a hidden agenda, you know, I don′t see one, hear one, or know of one

OK, let me tell you why I have drawn these conclusions

First of all, they may say, "We are not interested in legislation"

But there are others who do, and because of their project

Bad things have happened in this country in the industry

I believe there is actually some liability

Look at this

You have a situation where, even if you go for the lyric printed thing in the record

Because of the tendency among Americans to be copycats

One guy commits a murder, you get a copycat murder

Now you've got copycat censors

You get a very bad situation in San Antonio, Texas, right now

Where they are trying to pass PMRC-type individual ratings

And attach them to live concerts

With the mayor down there trying to make a national reputation

By putting San Antonio on the map

As the first city in the United States to have these regulations

Against the suggestion of the city attorney, who says, "I don't think this is constitutional"

But you know, there is this fervor to get in and do even more, even more

And the other thing, the PMRC starts off talking about lyrics

But when they take it over into other realms they start talking about the videos

In fact, you misspoke yourself at the beginning in your introduction

When you were talking about the music does this, the music does that

There is a distinct difference between those notes

And chords and the basseline and the rhythm

That support the words and the lyrics

I do not know whether you really are talking about controlling the type of music that gets heard

So specifically we′re talking about lyrics

It began with lyrics

But even looking at the PMRC fundraising letter

In the last paragraph at the bottom of the page

It starts looking like it is branching into other areas

When it says, "We realize that this material has pervaded other aspects of society"

And it is like what, you are going to fix it all for me?

No, I think what they′re- I mean

I think they're acknowledging some of the statements by some of their critics who say

"Well, why single out the music industry"

But if I can have just a- have a minute more, Mr. Chairman

Before we got back into that, you were saying

Yes, you do believe that there is a legitimate concern

But the legitimate concern is a matter of taste for the individual parent

And how much sexual information that parent wants to give their child

At what age, at what time, in what quantity, OK

And I think that, because there is a tendency in the United States to hide sex

Which I think is an unhealthy thing to do

And many parents do not give their children good sexual education

In spite of the fact that little books for kids are available

And other parents demand that sexual education be taken out of school

It makes the child vulnerable

Because if you don′t have something rational to compare it to when you see

Or hear about something that is aberrated you do not perceive it as an aberration. OK?

OK, I've run out of time. Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Senator Rockefeller

Senator Gorton

Mr. Zappa, I am astounded at the courtesy

And soft-voiced nature of the comments of my friend, the Senator from Tennessee

I can only say that I found your statement to be boorish

Incredibly and insensitively insulting to the people that were here previously

That you could manage to give the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States

A bad name

If I felt that you had the slightest understanding of it, which I do not

You do not have the slightest understanding

Of the difference between Government action and private action

And you have certainly destroyed any case you might otherwise have had with this Senator

Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Is this private action?

Mr. Chairman, thank you very much

Mr. Zappa, let me say that I was surprised that Senator Gore knew and liked your music

I must confess that I have never heard any of your music, to my knowledge

I would be more than happy to recite my lyrics to you

Can we forgo that?

You, you′ve probably never heard of the Mothers Of Invention

I have heard of Glenn Miller and Mitch Miller

Did you ever perform with them?

As a matter of fact, I took music lessons in grade school from Mitch Miller's brother

That′s the first sign of hope we have had in this hearing

Let us try and get down to a fundamental question here

That I would like to ask you, Mr. Zappa

Do you believe that parents have the right

And the obligation to mold the psychological development of their children?

Yeah, I think they have that right, and I also think they have that obligation

Do you see any extreme difficulty in carrying out those obligations

For a parent by material falling into the hands of their children

Over which they have little or no control?

Well, one of the things that has been brought up before

Is talking about very young children getting access to the material

That they have been showing here today

And what I have said to that in the past is a teenager may go into a record store

Unescorted with $8. 98 in his pocket, but very young children do not

If they go into a record store

The $8. 98 is in mom's pocket or dad's pocket, and they can always say

"Johnny, buy a book"

They can say, "Johnny, buy instrumental music"

There′s some nice classical music here for you, why don′t you listen to that"

The parent can ask or guide the child in another direction, away from Sheena Easton, Prince

Or whoever else you have been complaining about

There is always that possibility

As I understand it from your testimony, and once again

I want to emphasize that I see nothing wrong whatsoever

In fact, I salute the ladies for bringing this to the attention of the public as best they see fit

But I want to be very careful that we do not overstep our bounds and try and

I emphasize once again, tell somebody else what they should see

So I am primarily worried about children

It seems to me from your statement that you have no obligation

Or no objection whatsoever to printing lyrics, if that would be legally possible

Or from a standpoint of having the room to do that, on records or tapes

Is that not what you said?

I think it would be advisable for two reasons

One, it gives people one of the things that they've been asking for

It gives them that type of consumer protection because

If you can read the English language and you can see the lyrics on the back

You have no excuse for complaning if you take the record out of the store

And also, I think that the record industry has been damaged

And it has been given a very bad rap by this whole situation

Because it′s been indicated, or people have attempted to indicate

That there is so much of this kind of material that people object to in the industry

That that is what the industry is

It is not bad at all

Some of the albums that have been selected for abuse here are obscure

Some of them are already several years old

And I think that a lot of deep digging was done in order to come up

With the song about the anal vapors or whatever it was that they were talking about before

If I understand you, you would be in support of printing the lyrics

But you are adamantly opposed to any kind of a rating system? Is that correct?

I'm opposed to the rating system because, as I said

If you put a rating on the record

It goes directly to the character of the person who made the record

Whereas if you rate a film, a guy who is in the film has been hired as an actor

He is pretending

You rate the film, whatever it is, it doesn′t hurt him

But whether you like what is on the record or not, the guy who made it

That's his art and to stigmatize him is not fair

Well, likewise, if you are primarily concerned about the artists

Is it not true that for many many years

We have had ratings of movies

With indications as to the sexual content of movies and that has been

As near as I can tell

A voluntary action on the part of the actors in the movies

And the producers of the movies and the distributors?

That seems to have worked reasonably well

What is wrong with that?

Well, first of all, it replaced something that was far more restrictive

Which was the Hays Office

And as far as that being voluntary

There are people who wish they did not have to rate their films

They still object to rating their films

But the reason the ratings go on is

Because if they are not rated they won′t get distributed or shown in theaters

So there is a little bit of pressure involved

But still there is no stigma on the person—

The Government does not require that

The point I am trying to make is

And while I think these hearings should not have been held

If we are not considering legislation or regulations at this time

I emphasized earlier that they might follow

I simply want to say to you that I suspect that

Unless the industry "cleans up their act"

And I use that in quote words again, there is likely to be legislation

And it seems to me that it would not be too far removed from reality

Or too offensive to anyone if you could follow the general guidelines

Right, wrong, or indifferent

That are now in place with regard to the movie industry

Well, I would object to that

I think first of all, I believe it was you who asked the question of Mrs. Gore

Whether there was any other indication on the album as to the contents

And I would say that a buzzsaw blade between a guy's legs on the album cover

Is a good indication that it is not for little Johnny

I don't believe I entered that question

But the point that you made is a good one

Because if that should not go to little minds

I think there should be at least some minimal activity

Or attempt on the part of the producers and distributors

And indeed possibly the performers

To see that that does not get to that little mind

Mr. Chairman, thank you very much

Mr. Zappa, I apologize for coming back in late

But I am just hearing the latter part of it

I hear that you say that perhaps we could print the words

And I think that is a good suggestion, but it is unfair to have it rated

Now, it is not considered unfair in the movie industry, and I want you to elaborate

I don′t want to belabor you, but why is it unfair?

I mean, it′s accurate, isn't it? I mean-

Well, I don′t know whether it is accurate

Because they sometimes have trouble deciding how a film gets to be an X or an R or whatever

And you have two problems

One is the quantity of material

325 films per year versus 25, 000 four-minute songs per year, OK

You also have a problem that an album is a compilation of different types of cuts

If one song on the album is sexually explicit

And all the rest of it sounds like Pat Boone, what do you get on the album?

How are you going to rate it?

There are little technical difficulties here

And also you have the problem of having somebody in the position of deciding what's good

What′s bad, what's talking about the devil

What is too violent, and you know, and the rest of that stuff

But the point that I made before is that when you rate the album you are rating the individual

Because he takes personal responsibility for the music

And in the movies, the actors who are performing in the movie, it doesn′t hurt them

Well, very good

I think the actual printing of the content itself is perhaps even better than the rating

Let everyone else decide

I think you should leave it up to the parents

Because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant

Well, what-

Yeah, you and I would differ on what is ignorance and educated, I can see that

But-

No, I happen to think that you are very educated

I can't complain if it was there

They could see what they were buying

And I think that would be a step in the right direction

But as Senator Exon has pointed out

Whereby the primary movers in this particular regard are not looking for legislation or regulations

That's our function

And to be perfectly candid with you

I would look for regulations or some kind of legislation

If it could be constitutionally accomplished

Unless of course we have these initiatives from the industry itself

I think your suggestion is a good one

If you print those words, that would go a long way toward satisfying everyone′s objections

All we have to do is find out how it is going to be paid for

Good enough. Thank you, Mr. Chairman

Senator Hawkins

Mr. Zappa

Yes

You say you have four children?

Yes

Pardon me

Four children

Four children

Have you ever purchased toys for those children?

No′ my wife does

Well, I might tell you that if you were to go in a toy store

Which is very educational for fathers, by the way

It is not a maternal responsibility to buy toys for children

That you may look on the box and the box says, this is suitable for five to seven years of age

Or eight to 15, or 15 and above, to give you some guidance for a toy for a child

Do you object to that?

In a way I do

Because that means that somebody in an office someplace

Is making a decision about how smart my child is

I'd be interested to see what toys your kids ever had

Why would you be interested?

Just as a point of interest in this

Well, come on over to the house I′ll show 'em to you

Really

I might do that

Have you ever made

Do you make a profit from sales of rock records?

Yes

So you do make a profit from the sales of rock records?

Yes

Thank you

I think that statement tells the story to this committee, thank you

Mr Zappa thank you for your testimony

Thank you

Next witness is John Denver

We haven′t got 'em whipped on this one yet, you got a bear by the tail here, uh? Jeezis!