I believe that gas is too damn high

An' there ain't nothin' more American

Than Mama's apple pie

I believe in love; I believe in peace

But I don't believe we'll ever see it

In that Middle East

I believe the Bible is cold, hard fact

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back

Before she does

I believe the Sabbath is a day of rest

The taxman an' the Devil share the same address

I believe don't start if you're gonna quit

I believe in keep your mouth shut

An' carry a big stick

I believe that dogs are better than cats

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back

Before she does

There's absolutely, positively

No doubt in my mind

That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't

An' she's really gone this time

I believe that cold, cold beer

Tastes better on a bar stool

Than it does anywhere

I believe hard work really makes the man

But everyone should wet a line every now an' then

I believe it's best to pay in cash

An' I believe that Jesus is comin' back

Before she does

There's absolutely, positively

No doubt in my mind

That OJ did it; Lee Harvey didn't

An' she's really gone this time

I believe she was a real good thing

Can you believe I let a girl like her get away?

I believe she meant it the night she packed

An' said Jesus is comin' back before she does

Before she does

Before she does