I own a mansion

But live in a house

A king-size bed, butI sleep on the couch

I′m Mr. Brightside

Glass is half full

But my tank's half empty

Gasket just blew

This always happens

Thirty minutes from home

Gotta lay a log cabin

Only option I have is McDonald′s bathroom

In a public stall dropping a football

So every time someone walks in the john, I get Madden

"Shady, what up?"

What? Come on, man, I'm crappin'

And you′re askin′ for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?

Oh, that's odd, I just happened to run out of tissue

Yeah, hand me that, on second thought, I′d be glad then

"Thanks, dawg! Name's Todd, a big fan"

I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad, threw it back and

Told him, "Todd, you′re the shit"

When's all of this crap end?

Can′t pump my gas without causin' an accident

Pump my gas, cut my grass

I can't take out the fuckin′ trash without

Someone passin′ through my sub, harassin'

I′d count my blessin's, but I suck at math

I′d rather wallow then bask, sufferin' from succotash

But the antacid

Gives my stomach gas

When I mix my corn with my fucking mash

Potato, so what, ho, kiss my country bumpkin ass

Missouri Southern roots

What the fuck is upper-class?

Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper

Tupperware in a covered plastic wear up the ass

Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that?

B-Boy to the core, mule, I′m a stubborn ass

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that′s why I can′t leave Detroit

It's the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me

And (life′s been good to me so far)

They call me classless, I heard that

I second and third that

Don't know what the fuck I′d be doin' if it weren′t rap

Probably be a giant turd-sack

But I blew, never turned back

Turned forty and still sag

Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack

Fuck you gonna say to me?

I leave on my own terms, asshole, I'm going berserk

My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has

I get to meet famous people

Look at her, dag

Her nylons are ran, her skirt's snagged

And I heard she drag-races *burp* swag

Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag

You′re Danica Patrick

(Yeah?) word, skag

We′d be the perfect match

'Cause you′re a vacuum

I'm a dirtbag

My apologies

No disrespect to technology

But what the heck is all of these buttons?

You expect me to sit here and learn that?

Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda?

Be an expert at computers?

I′d rather be an Encyclopedia Britannica

Hell with PlayStation

I'm still on my first man on some Zelda

Nintendo, bitch!

Run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the

Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread

Make a sandwich with Welch′s and belch

They say this spray butter's bad for my health, but

I think there's more white trash from the trailer

Jed Clampett, Redd Sanford, and welfare

Mentality helps to

Keep me grounded

That′s why I never take full advantage of wealth, I

Managed to dwell within these parameters

Still crammin′ the shelves full of Hamburger Helper

I can't even help it

This is the hand I was dealt, a

Creature of habit

Feel like I′m trapped in an animal shelter

With all these pet peeves

Goddammit to hell

I can't stand

All these kids

With their camera cellphones

I can′t go anywhere

I get so mad I could yell, the

Other day, someone got all elaborate

And stuck a head from a fuckin' dead cat in my mailbox

Went to Burger King

They spit on my onion rings

I think my karma′s catchin' up with me

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won′t change

Maybe that′s why I can't leave Detroit

It′s the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me

And (life's been good to me so far)

Got friends on Facebook

All over the world

Not sure what that means

They tell me it′s good

So I'm artist of the decade

I even got a plaque

I′d hang it up, but

The frame is all cracked

I'm trying to be low-key

Hopefully nobody notices me

In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed, ogre

Style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle

By the frozen yogurt this guy approached me

Embarrassed, I just did Comerica

With Hova, the show's over

I′m hiding in Kroger buying groceries

He just had front row seats

Told me to sign this poster, then insults me

"Wow, up close, didn′t know you had crow's feet!"

I′m at a crossroad, lost, still shopping at Costco

Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles

Got caught pickin′ my nose, ah!

Look over, see these two hot hoes

Finger's still up in one of my nostrils

Right next to ′em

Stuck at the light

The fuckin' shit's takin′ forever to change, It′s stuck

These bitches are lovin' it, rubbin′ it in, chucklin'

Couldn′t do nothin', play it off

"What you bumpin′? Trunk Muzik?"

"Yelawolf's better," fucking bitch

They want me to flip at the label

But I won't succumb to it

The pressure, they want me to follow up with another one

After Recovery was so highly coveted

But what good is a fuckin′ recovery if I fumble it?

′Cause Imma drop the ball if I don't get a grip

Hoppin′ out shrubbery on you sons of bitches

Wrong subdivision to fuck with, bitch

Quit snappin' fuckin′ pictures of my kids

I love my city, but you push me to my limit, what a pity

The shit I complain about

It's like there ain′t a cloud in the sky, and it's raining out

Kool-Aid stain on the couch

I'll never get it out

Bitch, I got an elevator in my house

Ants and a mouse, I′m living the dream

Maybe that′s why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that′s why I can't leave Detroit

It′s the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me

And (life's been good to me so far)