What the hell are musicals?

It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops

And the plot is conveyed through songThrough song?

Yes.

Wait, so an actor is saying his lines

And then out of nowhere he just starts singing?

Yes.

Well that is the

Stupidest thing that I have ever heard

You′re doing a play, got something to say

So you sing it?

It's absurd

Who on earth is going to sit there

While an actor breaks into song

And what possible thought could the audience think

Other than "This is horribly wrong"Remarkably? They won′t think that

Seriously? Why not?

Because it's a musical

A musical

And nothing's as amazing as a musical

With song and dance

And sweet romance

And happy endings happening by happenstance

Bright lights, stage fights, and a dazzling You wanna be great?

Then you gotta create a musical

I don′t know

I find it hard to believe that people would actually pay to see something like this

Let′s just say it's a Saturday night

And you wanna go out on the town

Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don′t let her down

You could go see a tragedy

That wouldn't be very fun

Or a play from Greek mythology

See a mother have sex with her son, euggh

You could see a drama

With all of the trauma and pain

Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain

You could go see a musical

A musical

A puppy piece, releasing all your blues-ical

Where crude is cool (Ahhh)

A catchy tune

And limber-legged ladies thrill you ′til you swoon

Oohs, ahhs, big applause, and a standing ovation

The future is bright

If you could just write a musical

Some make you happy

Some make you sad

Some are quite big

Some quite small

Some are too long

Some are just plays with song

Some musicals have no talking at all

No talking at all

That's right

There′s no talking

All of the dialogue is sung

In a very dramatic fashion

Um, really?

Yes, really

There's no talking

There's no talking

And they often stay on one note for a very long time

So when they change to a different note, you notice

And it′s supposed to create a dramatic effect

But mostly you just sit there asking yourself

"Why aren′t they talking?"

That sounds miserable

I believe it's pronounced Misérable

And people actually like this?

No, they love it, and what′s not to love!

It's such a delight

There′s nothing quite like a musical

Another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet!

Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet

Whoa, whoa (Um, what is that)

Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat (Woah are you okay?)

You slap your lap

And finger snap

That′s when you know it's time to tap! Oh!

What the hell are you doing now?

It's called a dance break

Apparently this happens in musicals as well

People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance

Why?

Does it advance the plot? (No)

Advance character? (Not necessarily)

Then why do it?

Because it′s entertaining! 5, 6, 7, 8

Another vision!

It′s a musical

Whaddya talk, whaddya talk

It's a musical!

A Suessical?

No, a musical with girls on stage

A musical

We′ve got snappy repartees

And the women are risqué

And the boys are kind of gay

A musical

A true, blue, new musical

Stand back, it's a musical!

Some musicals are very serious

A big, glittering musical

A musical

It′s a musical for us!

A big and shiny,

Mighty fine-y, glitter, glitz, and line-y

Bob your head and shake your hiney musical

It's a musical (It′s a musical)

It is a musical (It's a musical)

Yes! I get it now!

We'll do a musical (No kidding)

A musical

What could be more amazing than a musical

With song and dance

And sweet romance

And with a musical we might have half a chance

Oohs, ahhs, big applause with everyone cheering for us

And for some unexplainable reason

The crowd goes wild every time

When dancers kick in unison in one big wonderful line

And then you got yourself a musical

A musical

A la, la, la, la, la, la, la palooza-sical

With splashy style and a big fake smile

A snazzy pants, some jazzy hands, I swear that I′ll

Cross my heart, hope to die if it isn′t a doozy

Take it from me

They'll be flocking to see

Your star lit

Won′t quit

Big hit

Musical

A big hit musical