[VERSE 1]

Man your really one heck of a guy

Best friend since junior high

You showed me Playboy for the very first time

That was rad

We saw Bon Jovi we sat in the front row

I pierced your ear right before the show

We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know

[1ST CHORUS]

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun

Did you fall in love or did

You just want to get some

That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion

I know you know she used to be my girl

You'd better run for cover

Cause she's tickin like a time bomb

And did i mention that youbothsuck.com

Now your stuck with her

Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.

I guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[VERSE 2]

I met her at a kegger past out in the yard

Gettin in her pants wasn't really that hard

6 months later she crashed my car

That was rad

She's got a glow from her spray on tan

Marilyn manson is her favorite band

I really think she might worship Satan, not a band

[2ND CHORUS]

Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun

Did you fall in love or did

You just want to get some

That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion

I know you know she used to be my girl

You should run for cover

Cause she's tickin like a time bomb

And did i mention that youbothsuck.com

Now she's stuck with you

Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo

Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper

Guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[BRIDGE]

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover you deserve each other

I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to

Meet your mother

She was a superstar, back seat of my car

Those days are over, now the night goes on yeah

[3RD CHORUS]

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun

Did you fall in love

Or did you just want to get some

That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion

I know you know she used to be my girl

You'd better run for cover

Cause she's tickin like a time bomb

And did i mention that youbothsuck.com

Now your stuck wit her

Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.

Like number two on a pooper scooper

I guess that makes me te LUCKIEST LOSER