Outside the carolers start to sing

I can't describe the joy they bring

Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side

From the roof are hanging sickles of ice

Their whiny voices get irritating

It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face

Wondering how much of my time they'll waste

Oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped

Because I grabbed the baseball bat

And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time, again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, All year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me

Please stay away from my home

If you don't get beat down

Just leave the presents and let me be alone

Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve

Cause the cops came and arrested me

They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree

Christmas came a night early

Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas