Dissociated and at arm′s length is all I hope to be

Those happy faces and knowing eyes forever will haunt me

The way they look on, the way they follow, disapprovinglyTheir judgement falls on these deafened ears, I've done it all before

Yes I remember (the choice)

Who I am (doubtful)

And I remember (the pain)

What drove me here

The vicious cycle (of trust)

Of anxiety

And then depression (rotting)

Living miserably

This hollow rotting that no one sees had festered far too long

And thus I made the decision to just leave it all behind

To escape feeling nothing I tried to become it myself

And what have I found except more pain? More torment?

I thought giving up life a worthy sacrifice, what else could I do?

What else could I do to try to escape and avoid this tragedy

Has death been better here in this place, or is it just the same?

A hunt, a trial, a conviction and meaningless ecstasy

Yet you can still die

This is not a death threat, oh no

This is a promise

Do you want to leave here?

Do you want a way out?

Yes, we can deliver you

Want to know how, dear?

Just drink

Do you want to leave here?

Do you want a way out?

Please, let us deliver you

And now I′ve returned (back home)

To dull facsimile

To worthless offers (for help)

And more lies

The more I swallowed (before)

The less I felt this way

And now I want more (drink it)

And to drown

To escape feeling nothing I tried to become it myself

And what have I found except more pain? More torment?

I thought giving up life a worthy sacrifice, what else could I do?

What else could I do to try to escape and avoid this tragedy

To see the lights go, would be such solace

To hear them all crying, a holy symphony

To know I'd never feel so hollow again

And just once to be able to sleep free from pain

Follow the leader to that old familiar place

That well of pain and hate and guilt and shame

I want to drown with an audience knowing why

I want to drown for good and to finally die

I'm over this

Don′t ever assume

I wanted saving or that I wanted to live

With a crowd in tow I make my way back to the garden

There is nothing left for me to do but jump in again

That thick red fluid once gulped down looks inviting

Should I dive in or sink myself?

I know this place and why I′m here

The center and the source of this hollow ache

Standing atop and looking all around

I've never been so afraid yet so sure

Droves of the dead all reach out in shock

As I step back and fall in

And self pity, it beckons

Despite all I do it won′t shake away

The more that I rationalize these thoughts the more they seem to inflame

And the cycle continues

The finger's pointed but the blame remains

Digging deeper within me just causes the world itself to fade