[Intro]

Aight, aight

Uh, Slim Shady

Yo, yo, yo

[Verse 1]

It's only fair to warn, I was born with a set of horns

And metaphors attached to my damn umbilical cord

Warlord of rap that'll bash you with a two by four board

And smash into your Honda Accord with a 4-door Ford

But I'm more toward droppin' an acapella

To chop a fella into mozzarella worse than a helicopter propeller

Got you locked in the cellar with your skeleton showing

Developing anorexia while I'm standin' next to ya

Eating a four course meal, watching you starve to death

With an IV in your veins, feeding you liquid Darvocet

Pumping you full of drugs

Pull the plugs on the gunshot victims full of bullet slugs

Who were picked up in an ambulance

And driven to receiving with the asses ripped outta they pants

And given a less than 20 percent chance of living

Have a possible placement as a hospital patient

Storing the dead bodies in grandma's little basement

Doctor Kevorkian has arrived

To perform an autopsy on you while you scream "I'm still alive!"

Driving a rusty scalpel in through the top of your scalp, and

Pullin' your Adam's apple out through your mouth

Better call the fire department

I've hired a arson to set fire to carpet

And burn up your entire apartment

I'm a liar to start shit

Got your bitch wrapped around my dick

So tight you need a crowbar to pry her apart with

Motherfucker, Slim Shady, bitch! Recognize!

[Verse 2]

Met a retarded kid named Greg, with a wooden leg

Snatched it off and beat him over the fucking head with the peg

Go to bed with the keg, wake up with the 40

Mixed it with Alka-Seltzer and Formula 44D

Fuck an acid tab, I'll strap the whole sheet to my forehead

Wait until it absorbed in, and fell to the floor dead

No more said, case closed, end of discussion

I'm blowin' up like spontaneous human combustion

Leaving you in the aftermath of holocaust and traumas

Cross the bombers

We blowin' up your house, killing your parents

And coming back to get your foster mommas

And I'm as good at keeping a promise as Nostradamus

'Cause I ain't making no more threats

I'm doin' drive-by's in tinted Corvettes on Vietnam war vets

I'm more or less sick in the head

Maybe more cause I smoked crack

Today, yesterday, and the day before

Saboteur, walk the block with a Labrador

Strappin' more corral for war than El Salvador

Foul style galore

Verbal cow manure

Comin' together like the eyebrow on Al B. Sure!

Motherfucker!

[Verse 3]

(Like this, and like that, and like this

Like this, and like that, and like this)

I'm the illest rapper to hold a cordless, patrolling corners

Looking for hookers to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters

I'm meaner in action than Roscoe beating James Todd Sr

And smackin' his back with vacuum cleaner attachments

I grew up in a wild hood

As a hazardous youth

With a fucked up childhood

That I used as an excuse

And ain't shit changed

I kept the same mind state

Since the third time that I failed 9th grade

You probably think that I'm a negative person

Don't be so sure of it

I don't promote violence, I just encourage it

I laugh at the sight of death

As I fall down a cement flight of steps

And land inside a bed of spider webs

So throw caution to the wind

You and a friend, can jump off of a bridge

And if you live, do it again

Shit, why not? Blow your brain out

I'm blowing mine out

Fuck it, you only live once, you might as well die now

[Verse 4]

Yo, yo, yo!

My mom sent me up to the store with a food stamp

For a pack of cigarettes and a book at the news stand (Here.)

Two dudes ran up and jumped out of a blue van

I looked down at the ground and picked up a huge branch

I swung it at the first dude, the other one with him

Seen it snap so fast, it looked like it broke before it hit him

So he tried to rush, I swept his legs, pinned him, and bit him

He came back with 6 or 7 dudes screaming "Get him!"

I grabbed one, lit him on fire, pinned, and bit him

The next faggot gave me his shoes like they didn't fit him

One by one I just kept dropin' 'em in a rhythm

Then I woke up swingin' the middle of the kitchen

(Damn... damn... damn...)